


Demons

by shannyfish



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: AU, F/M, Gen, Ghosts, Hallucinations, Hunted, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Lian Yu, On the Island - Freeform, Team, Team Arrow, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, Teamwork, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-11 10:53:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 35,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slade goes after Oliver and Sara, but Felicity and Diggle are also pulled into this old vendetta.  Slade isn't only out there to punish Oliver and Sara, but he's throwing them in the middle of perdition.  The four must survive on Lian Yu against a very angry Slade.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome Back to Lian Yu

Don’t get too close  
It’s dark inside  
It’s where my demons hide  
It’s where my demons hide

At the curtain’s call  
It's the last of all  
When the lights fade out  
All the sinners crawl

So they dug your grave  
And the masquerade  
Will come calling out  
At the mess you've made

Don't wanna let you down  
But I am hell bound  
Though this is all for you  
Don't wanna hide the truth  
~ “Demons” Imagine Dragons

 

. . .

 

When she woke, it was like she was in a void. Darkness and cold surrounded her. There was no bit of light and no memory of where she was. Felicity gasped suddenly and then coughed violently. The rush of water drowning her hit her consciousness and she struggled to move. It was then that she realized that one of her legs was pinned and her flailing was rather painful. She pushed herself to keep her head up above the water, which seemed possible at least. 

She screamed out, terrified of her circumstances. 

Had she been in an accident?

Why would she be in water?

Felicity’s tears mixed with the water as she struggled to keep still to quell the pain, but keep her head well above water as well so she could breathe. She was able to find something to hold onto to, to cling to, to help her keep her upper half above water. It pulled on her legs, but not too much, the pain she could manage. 

When she woke, it was brighter but still dark. Felicity let her eyes adjust as she looked around. As far as she could see right ahead was ocean. That’s all she could see… Panic rose in her as she started to look to the right. Tears streamed down her cheek as she tried to contain her level of panic. More ocean as far as she could turn her head. To the left, she started slow but the ocean wasn’t helping her with feeling at ease with what would happen to her. Before she could make it as far as she could turn her head, someone came into her line of sight. 

A dark figure.

“Please,” she pleaded. Felicity was terrified. She didn’t know who it was or what they could want. She still wasn’t sure exactly where she was. What if this person had to do with her being in that position? What if they intended on hurting her? Who was it? Where was she? What was going on? Why was she there?

“Shh… It’s me, you’re okay.”

Tears still fell, but this time she was happy to know that she was okay. It didn’t answer all of her questions, but at least she had comfort in knowing that Diggle was there to help her. She hoped that he could help her. She still wasn’t sure what was pinning her legs in place. 

“I’m stuck,” she cried.

“Don’t move…” he told her. 

His hand was on her back and she looked around to see that he was only a little more than waist deep in the water. Diggle was supporting her and she wasn’t panicking any longer, but she would feel a lot better if she was finally freed from whatever was keeping her in place. 

“What—what is it?” Felicity asked. 

She could feel his hand along her leg and she wondered how bad it was. She knew that Diggle had medical training, so at least there was that. Felicity was quiet as he continued to move his hand. She tried to keep her calm as he continued to feel around. Felicity just wanted out. Everything else could be sorted out once they got to shore. She was still waiting for him to tell her what had her pinned and she also wanted to know how bad it was.

“It’s a build up of debris,” Diggle finally said. “Probably from shipwrecks.”

“Where are we?”

“Lian Yu if I’m not mistaken,” Diggle told her. “We were dumped here last night. I think Oliver and Sara are somewhere…”

“Lian Yu? Really?” Felicity felt sick. She really hated this island. She would be overjoyed if they never stepped foot on that island again. “It took us days to get here last time,” she said and then let out a sudden scream. Diggle had moved something. 

“Sorry, sorry…” he said quickly.

Tears were falling a new and she tried to keep as still as possible. She sucked in breath and tried not to think about the pain. “How did we get here?”

“He drugged you, I’m sure,” Diggle told her. “We were on a ship… He was telling Oliver to choose… I don’t know what he meant exactly… He had me pumped full of stuff, but I was awake for a lot of it. Sara would argue with him.” Diggle was quiet. “The last time I saw you, he’d just dropped you into the middle of the floor… He told Oliver to choose, but he kept pleading with him. He said that would be the last time anyone saw you.” He was very quiet suddenly. “I thought you were dead.”

“I don’t remember,” she told him. Felicity wondered if it was for the best. They were on a ship? She didn’t even remember when they’d been taken from Starling City. “Last thing I remember… Mrs. Queen and Isabel were making a scene at the benefit… You and Oliver were trying to break it up…” 

Diggle shifted a few things. It wasn’t as painful as it had been before, but she tried to keep her cries and screams inside. “I’m sorry,” he said as he moved another thing. “Your left leg looks bad… I’m trying to minimize the pressure on it. I’m hoping that there are still some supplies stowed somewhere…”

“Do you know who has us? Or had us?” she asked. She realized that she wasn’t thinking clearly or at least not as clearly as she normally would. 

“Slade Wilson,” Diggle said. “He was on the island with Oliver.”

“Didn’t he…hallucinate…about him?” she barely managed to get out. “And—and just to let you know… I’m not feeling so great…” Felicity had already felt numb and cold, but now she felt like ice… She felt so much pain. She felt like she could pass out and throw up at the same time.

“I was afraid of that,” he said. “It’s going to hurt, Felicity, but it’s no longer got the pressure on it, it had before…” He didn’t wait for her okay; he just did what had to be done. Diggle scooped her up and was heading back towards shore. He tried to keep her hand in place, to keep pressure but she just couldn’t.

“Slade…has…Mirakuru…” she mumbled.

The world was quickly blurring. Felicity knew that she had to be losing blood. She could hear Diggle, but she couldn’t understand him. As close as he held her, it didn’t bring hr any warmth. The sun was trying to even warm her, it seemed higher, but it didn’t penetrate the cold numb void she was in. She didn’t last long before she was overtaken by darkness.

 

. . .

 

“I know this island.”

“Well then I hope you know where there’s a cache of medical supplies because we’re going to need them.”

“That’s if Slade wasn’t here first. He could have removed supplies before dropping us.”

“How long do we have?”

“She needs a hospital is what she really needs. The sooner the better. I’m worried about infection… There’s already been enough blood loss.”

The voices kept fluctuating. They were either too loud or too quiet. There was no in between. Felicity felt like she was still in the water. Cold and floating. Diggle had pulled her out, hadn’t he? Had it been a dream? A hallucination?

“John?” she barely breathed.

“She’s saying something.”

Felicity wondered where she was. What had happened? The voices, although clear, didn’t seem to ring true with anything she could remember. She could hear sobs and it took her a while to realize that it was her. The sobs seemed so alien, but they were coming from her lips. It was then that she became aware of all the pain. Felicity remembered her leg being pinned and all the pain. She remembered the water trying to drown her. She remembered Diggle getting her out. That was it, though. She remembered knowing that she was safe before she’d blacked out.

“We’re here.”

“Open your eyes.”

“You’re safe.”

The voices were worried, but familiar. She was sure that two of the voices were Oliver and Diggle. The female one? And then she remembered that Diggle had said Sara was there. 

“Cold,” she breathed. 

Felicity tried to open her eyes, but they wouldn’t budge. They felt far too heavy. She tried though, to push against it. She managed to open them only a slit before closing them again because it was too bright.

“I know we shouldn’t move her, Digg, but I think it’s going to be the best and safest spot.”

“Slade knows that spot.”

“I’m not saying it’s the best plan.”

“You’re going to get us all killed!”

“If we don’t do something, Sara, Felicity will die. I’m not burying anyone else on this island.”

She knew that this argument was her fault. Felicity let out another sob. “S’ok…” she mumbled. Felicity didn’t want them all to die because of her. Oliver, DIggle, and Sara…they were the survivors. She wasn’t good at that and knew that and knew that she was in no condition for anything. 

“We’re going to move you.”

“No,” she whispered.

“Felicity—“

“Leave m—“ she whispered.

“That’s not happening,” he said. And this time she knew it was Oliver.

She forced her eyes open again. At first the figures were blurred, but then she could make out Oliver and Diggle. Sara had to be around there too. Trees were overhead, but the sun still filtered through.

“I’m going to carry you,” Diggle told her. “I wish I could give you something for the pain, but I just don’t have anything. It’s going to hurt, I won’t lie to you about that.”

“Just go,” she whispered and tried to motion with her arm. She was fairly sure that it wasn’t as big as she’d intended.

“We’re going to be fine now that we’re all together.”

Felicity didn’t believe Diggle. She could see the worry in him. “Oliv—“

His mouth was at her ear then. “You’re not leaving, I’m not leaving,” he whispered.

She closed her eyes and let the tears fall. No matter what, no matter where they were, the three of them were still a team.

 

. . .

 

Warmth.

It was almost an odd feeling to her. She woke up groggy and she had no idea where she was. It was dimly lit, but she was a tad bit warmed up, and she hurt. That was what she knew. Felicity closed her eyes, rolled her head to the side, and then opened them again. Right by her side was Diggle, he was curled up right to her. As she focused, she realized that his arm and possibly a blanket were draped over her as well.

She thought about saying his name. She didn’t know how long it had been since she was last awake and no idea about how long he had been asleep. So, she let him sleep. Although she hurt, it didn’t seem as bad as it had before. Felicity knew that Oliver had originally come back from the island with twenty percent scar tissue and definitely hadn’t had painkillers. Felicity just wasn’t that strong. She had no idea how Oliver did it.

So, she just lay there watching him. Felicity closed her eyes again; tired already of the strain of having them open. Slowly, she moved her arm so it came up along Diggle’s and she tried to grasp his hand. 

“Felicity?”

She opened her eyes and stared at Diggle for a moment. He was still asleep.

“Felicity?”

“Oliver?” she croaked out. She started to turn her face and then his hands were on her.

“You’re okay,” he told her, still a whisper. “We’re safe…”

“Slade,” she managed to get out.

“He’s not been around,” he assured. “Sara and I have been keeping a look out while Diggle fixed your leg.”

Felicity closed her eyes. “You should leave me. I’m going to hold you all back—“

“Slade wants me,” Oliver told her.

That didn’t make it any better.

One thing that Felicity knew for sure was that Slade Wilson was dangerous. Once he and Oliver had been friends, but that was a long time ago. That was before Shado died. That was before the Mirakuru brought him back to life. That was before Oliver thought he’d left Slade dead on that island. Everything was different now.

“He can’t have you,” she blurted out. Her other hand slowly moved up and covered one of his hands on her face. Felicity didn’t want to lose Oliver, not to Slade Wilson and not to Lian Yu.

Oliver just smiled at her. “Right now, I’m more worried about you.”

“I’m breathing,” she whispered.

“All we had was over the counter stuff…” he explained. “I know that’s not enough.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered and then cringed. It hurt. It hurt a lot all of the sudden. Felicity kept telling herself that Oliver went through a lot more when he was on the island, she felt like that meant that she could get through this.

“You know…” he said so quietly. “I thought you were dead.”

“I don’t—“

“Digg explained that you don’t remember that much…” Oliver said.

Felicity closed her eyes as pain shot up her leg. She bit her lip and tried her best to contain it.

“Felicity?”

It hurt too much to try to respond to Oliver. She knew it would come out as a scream.

“Felicity?”

She opened her eyes again and tears rolled down her cheeks. Felicity swallowed hard before attempting to open her mouth to say anything. “It’s okay,” she just whispered.

“Maybe we can give you more.”

“Digg knows what he’s doing,” she said very slowly before closing her eyes again for just a moment. “He has the medical training,” she continued and then opened her eyes again. It was going to be a long time, she knew…and the pain would likely only get worse.

“I’m going to get you to a hospital as soon as I can, Felicity.”

“I know,” she whispered with a sad smile. Felicity just wasn’t sure how bad it really was and how long she could really last.

“Slade shouldn’t have involved any of you.”

“Digg and I would be out there looking for you if he hadn’t,” she pointed out. “Maybe it would have been different, but that doesn’t mean better.” All she knew was that no matter what. None of them were in it alone. They were still a team.

 

. . .

 

“You shouldn’t really move so much.”

Felicity stared at her for a long minute. Sara. Right, they were on the island. Lian Yu. She hated that island. “I just want to sit up,” Felicity finally got out. She wasn’t really sure if that was the best plan, but she felt like she’d maybe feel better. Or so she hoped. 

“I really don’t want to piss off Digg right now,” Sara admitted. “So, maybe you should just wait a bit…wait until they get back. They should be back soon.”

She wondered why it was Digg that she didn’t want to piss off. She was sure that there was a reason, but she was pretty sure that she’d fear Oliver over Diggle. Maybe it was just their relationships or maybe it was just what she did know about Oliver’s past.

“You guys…you should all be somewhere safe,” Felicity told her. She knew that Oliver and Diggle weren’t just going to leave her there, but she knew that Sara would be more truthful with her than the guys. 

Sara stared down at her and then looked around before looking back at her. “We’re...safe enough…”

“I’m endangering—“

“We’re taking care of things,” Sara insisted quickly.

“Even if I could move, you guys probably need to move fast. Slade is dangerous and I’ve seen Oliver on this island. He’s flown out of trees like Tarzan…”

“He does like to show off…”

“I don’t mind,” Felicity said with a sigh. “Especially when the shirt’s off…” She thought about making some comment about how she can never censor herself, but she had a feeling that Sara already knew that and from the smile on Sara’s face…she didn’t seem offended by her comment. 

“He really does look good…but I’m sure so does Digg… You’re a lucky girl,” Sara teased. 

She was lucky.

In so many ways.

“How’s our patient?”

Felicity brightened at the sound of Diggle’s voice. Maybe he would let her move… “Doing much better,” she lied and winced. She was fairly sure that only Sara could see and she just hoped that she didn’t say anything. “Sitting up would be nice... I could probably move if we need to move…”

“No moving if we can avoid it just yet,” Diggle said. “I’d rather we not put much weight on it. The stitches I managed are crude and I’m afraid there’s going to be an ugly scar…”

“The lack of being pinned and bleeding are worth it,” Felicity told him. “But can I at least sit up?”

Sara moved away and Diggle moved closer. She watched as he examined her leg. He frowned and still didn’t look too happy with things. Felicity really couldn’t be sure if her lack of memory on the boat or the island were blessings or curses. 

“No moving though,” Diggle warned her as he helped her up to a sitting position.

He’d adjusted her slowly, but it had still been too fast. Her head started to spin and she started to feel sick. She was certain that if she’d eaten anything that she’d have thrown it up. Instead, she started to fall to the side; luckily Diggle had a firm hold on her a moment later. 

“Hey, hey…”

“I’m okay,” she said as she breathed. “Sitting up…just too fast…my head spun…”

“You lost a lot of blood,” he explained slowly. “Fortunately, we already knew that Oliver and I were a match…and Sara is a universal donor… So, we’ve all taken turns trying to do blood transfusion…”

“Digg’s been very cautious about it,” Sara said.

“Rightly so,” Diggle argued. “It’s not like we’re back at the Foundry with a locker full of Oliver’s extra blood…and it’s not like we had something to measure how much blood everyone was contributing. I had to be cautious…for everyone’s sake.”

She hadn’t even thought about blood loss. It made sense though. It creeped her out a bit at the same time, especially since she didn’t like needles. She suddenly felt sick again too. Crap, she needed not to think about all the needles going into her body while she was out of it. 

“I really…didn’t need to know about any of that…” she blurted out as she felt sick as Diggle continued to hold her in place.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Have I mentioned, I really hate needles?”

“Without them, you would have died,” Diggle told her.

And she knew that. It just didn’t make it any better. Best thing right now was probably that she didn’t remember any of it. She stopped a moment and looked around. “Where’s Oliver?”

“Brooding,” Diggle responded immediately.

“I think he prefers the term: patrolling,” Sara spoke up.

 

. . .

 

TBC….


	2. Along the Shore

Oliver had spent so much time patrolling the piece of plane that was their current camp that he hadn’t gone in to check on Felicity since he’d last seen her. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, it was just that he was terrified that she might look worse. He didn’t know if he could honestly handle that. He knew that he had a battle ahead of him and he was trying to keep his head level. 

That wasn’t easy.

“Digg wants you.”

“Do you know why?” he asked calmly from where he was perched.

“He asked me if there could be any other caches of medicine on this island. I told him what I thought, but let’s face it…you’d know better, Ollie.”

“She’s worse?” he asked, his voice breaking a bit thus betraying him.

Sara approached his position and started to climb the tree he was up in. He knew that she’d be there in a flash. “You should see for yourself,” Sara told him. 

“Sara—“

“Look, we knew that this wasn’t going to be the best situation…” 

“Felicity shouldn’t have been involved in this,” Oliver said, his anger rising in his voice, but he tried to push it back. “She doesn’t deserve to be put through this…or whatever else Slade has planned for us.”

“I know,” Sara whispered as she made it up and next to him. She sat down on the sturdy tree branch, but kept her gaze downward on the plane. “But Diggle thinks that maybe because Slade hasn’t been seen…that this is all part of his plane…get us worked up…only to have us go find him and beg him for help.”

Oliver just thought about what she’d just told him. Felicity had to be worse. He already knew that Diggle had said that he just had to hope that he’d gotten out all of the foreign particles and he’d sewn up the gash crudely and as best as he could. There would be a scar and he was worried about infection. But that hadn’t been all of it. She was in pain and they just had ibuprofen to try to quell the pain she was experiencing. Felicity had also lost a lot of blood, which they’d tried to replace…but DIggle was afraid of giving too much. All of the medical equipment was either basic or crudely constructed. 

“I’m not going to bury her next to Shado,” he whispered. He kept the tears back as he thought about Felicity and as he thought about Shado.

“Oliver, I hate to say this…but we might have to face that reality…” 

Her voice was all too calm for him and he really wanted to lose it. He didn’t though. He kept his cool and breathed for a moment before finally speaking up. “So, you’re saying that we’re going to have to go looking for Slade…”

“I’m saying that I think this might be his plan…”

“How is this a plan? How could he have known that Felicity would have been hurt in the first place?”

“He dropped us all around the island in the middle of the night. I’m more surprised that Felicity is the only one who is injured.”

“Sara—“

“Look, Ollie, I know you’re not going to like any of this, but we need to be smart about this. You and I not only know how dangerous Slade can be, but this island… With Slade here…on Lian Yu, I think we need to worry about the ghosts too… There are so many ghosts here…”

“I know,” he whispered. 

“You want to get Felicity home?”

“Yes.”

“Then you have to face that we may still bury a body on this island.”

“I know.”

“Ollie—“

“It’s right that way,” he whispered. “To be buried next to Shado…and my dad. I should have died here… I shouldn’t have been spared… I shouldn’t have been given a second chance… I screwed up my life before…”

“You’re wrong,” Sara told him as she looked over at him.

Oliver looked at her. “Am I?”

 

. . .

 

He’d woken up on the beach alone and from the moment his eyes took in the landscape, he knew. It was like something out of a nightmare. 

Lian Yu.

Oliver looked around wildly once he was on his feet. He’d been on the ship with Diggle, Sara…and Felicity.

Felicity…

He wanted to dwell on her loss, he did, but he knew that if he did then if Diggle and Sara were on that island that they might not make it off. All his heart wanted to do was to stop and break down. Oliver wanted to mourn her loss because he hadn’t done it when they were on the boat. In truth, he really hadn’t accepted or believed that she was gone. Not until his eyes took in his surroundings and he knew where he was.

Slade obviously meant war as far as his vendetta was concerned. He was out to avenge Shado, but Oliver knew that Shado wouldn’t approve of what Slade was doing. He’d already killed so many… Felicity was innocent in all of this…he’d never intended for her or Diggle to be involved in anything like this. The only reason for it was to hurt him.

Slade had done that now.

Oliver had kept holding out hope that Felicity was somewhere else. That maybe Slade hadn’t followed through with his threat and she was safely locked away on the ship somewhere. The truth was that he couldn’t even be sure if Diggle and Sara were alive. 

With a heavy heart, Oliver started along the shore. He was hoping that he’d find Sara and Diggle along there since that’s where he’d woken up. He stayed on his guard though in case Slade appeared. At this point Oliver just really didn’t have fight in him. If Slade wanted to kill him in order to avenge Shado, then he’d happily hand over his life, but the killing needed to stop. No one else should die at Slade’s hands because of him.

“Ollie?”

At first he almost thought he’d imagined her voice. When he’d turned towards the jungle, he hadn’t seen her.

“Ollie!”

Sara stepped out of the jungle and seemed just as surprised to see him. “Are you okay? Have you seen Diggle?” Oliver rattled off quickly as they both closed distance between them. Oliver grabbed her for a quick hug, thankful that he’d found her alive.

“I haven’t seen him,” Sara told him.

“Maybe he’s up here further,” Oliver said pointing ahead. “I was back that way,” he explained as he pointed in the direction he’d just come from. “I woke up on the shore. I thought maybe Slade dropped off everyone along here…”

“Let’s hope so,” Sara told them as they started further down the shore. “Digg doesn’t know this place and there are still landmines in some areas.”

As those words tumbled out of Sara’s mouth, all Oliver could think about was the last time he’d been on Lian Yu and how Felicity and Diggle had shown up to retrieve him. Felicity had stepped on one of those landmines and Oliver had swung in to the rescue.”

They walked a ways and they hadn’t found any sign of Diggle. Oliver just kept telling himself that Slade could have his friend somewhere else.

“We might have to accept that Slade killed Digg like he killed—“ Sara started.

“I can’t accept that.”

“Well maybe Slade has him locked up on the ship.”

That really wasn’t a much better option as far as he was concerned. Oliver wouldn’t have to worry about Diggle stepping on a landmine, but there were other conditions he could suffer from sitting in a cold, damp cell on a boat docked in the middle of the China Sea on an island that had no traffic.

“Maybe,” Oliver mumbled. “We have to keep looking,” he pushed a moment later.

They’d walked for far too long. He was getting worried and from the look on Sara’s face, she was irritated with him. Oliver couldn’t help it though. He wanted his friend to be alive. He couldn’t have the weight of Diggle’s death on him too. He couldn’t bear more death on him. He’d changed. Felicity had proven that there was another way…

Felicity.

His heart wrenched as he thought about her. Oliver stopped and looked around. “He shouldn’t be so far away…”

“Unless that’s what Slade wanted,” Sara told him. “For us to be split up.”

“I’d rather find him…”

“He knows how to handle himself,” Sara said confidently. “Digg’s going to be okay.” She was quiet for a moment. “But if it would make you feel better, it’s not much farther until this turns from shore to rocky cliff tops… We might as well scan the rest of the beach.”

Beach.

Lian Yu was not his idea of a beach…or a beach getaway. It was filled with death and destruction…and beach just brought on ideas of young people partying in skimpy bathing suits. That wasn’t where they were. Lian Yu was death.

Oliver just nodded and started to head on instead of speaking up. He knew that Sara was right. It would ease his mind if they scanned the rest of the shore before it turned into rocky cliffs. Otherwise he’d always wonder. He needed to give Diggle every chance that he could. 

They turned a corner and Oliver stopped. There on the beach was Diggle and he was hovering over someone. His hesitation was momentary before he and Sara broke out into a sprint across the sandy shore. But when they got closer, he didn’t believe his eyes. 

There on the shore, unconscious and pale, was Felicity. Diggle was trying to stop her leg from bleeding and seemed too busy to even acknowledge their presence. He could tell that whatever had happened that Felicity needed help. Oliver knelt down on the other side of her and immediately was removing what remained of his button-up shirt. It had been stained over the last few days with sweat and blood, but it seemed like the sea had washed much of it away. He reached down and put pressure on her leg and handed the shirt to Diggle. Oliver knew that they needed to stop the bleeding, but Diggle was the closest they had to an actual doctor. 

“We’re going to need to sew it shut,” Diggle told him. “I don’t know how much blood she’s already lost…passing out is never a good sign.”

“Slade—“

“It wasn’t Slade,” Diggle told him and then shook his head. “I mean, technically…Slade did this.” Oliver watched as Diggle pulled apart his shirt as he spoke. “I found her out that way,” he said as he pointed out towards the water. “There’s a build up of wreckage…her leg was caught and cut because of where Slade left her…”

“At least she’s alive,” Sara spoke up.

All this time he’d blamed himself for her death…now he had to make sure that she stayed alive. She and Diggle shouldn’t be there in the first place. “She’s going to be okay, right?” Oliver asked as he watched Diggle lay out what looked like a new bundle of cloth to try to stop the blood and a bunch of strips to hold it in place. 

“I don’t know,” Diggle told him all too honestly. “We need to check the wound, clean it, stitch it closed, and protect it. That’s not even considering pain medication and possibly antibiotics…” 

He watched in horror as Diggle made him move so that he could better bandage Felicity leg, even if it was only temporary. The cut was long and deep. At least it didn’t seem to be near an artery, so there was that. “What can we do?”

“Get her to a hospital.”

Oliver wished he could do that. He stared down at her. He was so overjoyed and thankful to find her there alive, but at the same time…he feared that she might not make it off of Lian Yu. That wasn’t acceptable. She needed to make it.

“I left supplies here…”

“But those were basic medical supplies,” Diggle reminded.

“There might be more on the island,” Sara spoke up. “But it won’t be easy…”

“It never is.”

Oliver just stared down at her for a while in silence. He eventually reached out to touch her face. She was warm, but she wasn’t warm enough. It didn’t help his worry. “You’re going to be okay,” he whispered.

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	3. Importance

“I’m endangering all of you,” she told him. Felicity had no idea how long they’d been on Lian Yu or how long they’d been missing from Starling City. All she knew was that she couldn’t put weight on her injured leg. She was very much dead weight and burden to the group. She felt like an invalid and absolutely useless. Without a computer, she felt like she wasn’t adding to the team’s resources, but rather just draining them.

“Stop saying that!” he snapped.

She was quiet for a moment as they stared at each other. Diggle and Sara were outside, so it was just the two of him. She could see it in how his face softened and how he immediately felt guilty that he hadn’t meant it. “I just don’t want to be the cause of—“

“You’re not going to be.”

Felicity took a breath and took the moment to really think. She looked around and was trying to think of away to contribute. “If I could somehow get out a message…”

“Sara and I were discussing that last night—“ he started.

“If I had the parts, I could do it,” she insisted quickly. “And the time…”

It was the only way she could think to really help. The only two things that she could really think she could do was try to fix something to get a signal out or be bait. Felicity was fairly sure that Oliver wouldn’t go for the latter. Right now all she could focus on was how she was weighing down the team. She couldn’t handle the thoughts of what could happen if they stayed there. 

“Sara thinks that Slade is waiting for us to go look for him in order to get you help,” Oliver told her.

She could tell that he agreed with Sara. So, she already was pretty much bait. Felicity really hated that. She normally was able to show her strengths back home, but Lian Yu was another world. One that wasn’t equipped with a system of computers and the internet.

“I told you—“

“You’re important, Felicity,” Oliver told her firmly.

“Not if it means you, Diggle, and Sara making it off this island.”

“You’re important to me,” he whispered. He looked sad all of the sudden. “You’re important to Digg, too. We’re a family.”

And they were. That was why she didn’t want them to die there. Not because of her. Nothing would matter if they all died. Nothing.

Felicity reached out and touched his face. She was thankful that at least she could sit up, it made her feel less weak. She smiled at him. “You know the only reason I want you to go is because—“

“I know,” he whispered. His hand was on her cheek and he scooted closer. “For the same reason I won’t leave you behind.”

He was close and she couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. “Oliver,” she whispered. “I—“

“Felicity,” he whispered as he closed the distance between them. “Felicity Smoak, I—“

“Ollie!” Sara shouted. There was a short pause. “Oliver!” 

Felicity turned her head to hide the blush in her cheeks and he turned towards Sara’s voice. It was probably better this way, she told herself. She would hate for it to be chalked up to a mistake later.

“There’s movement,” Sara finally added without apology.

“Go,” Felicity whispered as she turned back to find Oliver staring at her. “I’ll be fine.” Before she could argue, he was pushing a rather large knife into her hand. She really wasn’t sure what good it would do in her possession. 

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he told her as he ran his hand through her blonde hair before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Felicity watched as they left and held her breath for a second. She hoped that they’d be okay. There was no underestimating Slade. He had a vendetta and Felicity was terrified that he would make sure that blood was paid for it.

 

. . .

 

They hadn’t found Slade or anyone else. Oliver had told Sara that perhaps it was a ‘ghost’, but Diggle had sworn that he’d seen it as well. Diggle wouldn’t know what the ghosts looked like. Those ghosts were only there to haunt Oliver and Sara. Felicity had been kept company for a bit by Diggle, who she knew was mainly making sure she wasn’t dying. She was in pain, yes, but she wasn’t dying. He always seemed to be apologizing every time he sat down with her because his stitch job would leave a scar. She really hadn’t thought about it. 

“How are you feeling?”

“I think Oliver would prefer I didn’t answer that question.”

“Answer it anyway.”

“I’m holding you guys back,” Felicity said. She realized that she’d probably voiced that opinion numerous times since they’d been there. It was still true. 

“I know I probably have come off as not caring, but I do care… It’s just being back here…” Sara told her. “This place is all about surviving…”

Sara Lance was an incredible woman. The moment that Felicity had met her, she knew that. She was gorgeous, Felicity thought even more so than Laurel. She was strong and she could take care of herself. She was obviously a survivor and did what she needed to in the world. Felicity had always felt like she and Sara could be friends, but sometimes she saw how she looked at Oliver… She had teased Oliver about Lian Yu being Fantasy Island, but she really knew that it was more like purgatory…especially with Slade lurking out there. 

“And I’m the weak link.”

“I didn’t say that,” Sara told her quickly. 

Felicity knew that Oliver would probably flip out if he heard them talking like this, but sometimes frank discussion was necessary. Plus, what else did they really have to do right now? With no Slade attacking? It was pretty much patrol, ensure they had fresh water, find edible food, and repeat… 

“I know,” Felicity replied. “It’s not above me that even if I could move that I’d still be the weakest link.”

“You’d learn.”

“I’m not sure that I’d be that good of a student.”

“Oliver and I had five years,” Sara reminded. “I have no idea how Shado managed to get him to shoot like he does…”

“You knew Shado?”

“Not really,” Sara told her. Her voice was sad and she looked down for a moment. “It was more of just meeting her…and then Ivo killed her… All I know is that Slade loved her…and Shado loved Oliver…”

“Did Oliver love her?”

“At that time, he was still pining away from Laurel,” Sara told her frankly. “He would carry around her picture.” She was quiet for a moment. “But we all do what we need to in order to survive. Oliver used that picture and wanting to get home to Laurel as his motivation to make it through what was going on…”

Felicity just nodded. Everything seemed to circle back to Gorgeous Laurel when it came to Oliver. No wonder he always went running whenever Laurel called or she was in danger…or even if there was a possibility of danger. As much as he wanted to keep from living in the past, he still was… He was still clinging to Laurel.

“I might not have known Shado, but I think I would have liked her…and you probably would have too,” Sara said.

“Did someone say Shado?”

They both turned to see Oliver had entered the fuselage. He looked confused and Felicity wondered if he thought that maybe he was hallucinating. It wasn’t like they weren’t eating, Oliver had made sure that he brought home something to roast every day and it was always enough.

“I had asked Sara if she had met her,” Felicity spoke up. 

“I told her I only briefly met her,” Sara said as she got up. “And I said that I thought that I would have liked Shado…and I thought Felicity would have liked her too…”

“She would have,” Oliver said after a moment of silence passed. 

Sara nodded and then smiled down at Felicity before exiting without another word. Felicity had figured that if she had explained things that maybe it would keep Oliver from becoming upset. She knew that he was haunted by the ghosts. She’d seen grave markers the last time she had been there, she was sure that that hadn’t been all of them. 

“I was just curious,” Felicity told him as he sat down next to her.

He held out a hand and offered her some fruit of some kind. She took it without question. Felicity honestly hadn’t been that hungry, but she’d noticed that both Oliver and Diggle had really pushed to make sure that she was eating their version of enough. She didn’t think that all the pain helped. As much as she would love to use some of the remaining pain pills, she knew that she needed to deal with it.

“I want to move you somewhere I think you’ll be safe, so that we can scout the island a bit better,” Oliver told her. “I thought of another place or two where we might be able to find some more medical supplies, even if they’re basic. It’s a leap, but I think that right now it’s all we have.”

“I’d be okay here.”

“I’d worry.”

“Oliver—“

“Please,” he pleaded. “I could make sure that I had enough food for you stocked up tomorrow and then leave you there the next morning. It’s where I was first kept safe when I came here.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“I don’t know.”

He was being honest, she could tell. That worried her though. She wasn’t exactly in the best condition to move around. What if they didn’t come back? She hadn’t been able to keep track of time inside of the fuselage, would she be able to in this new location? 

“All I know,” Oliver told her. “Is that if we’re going to try to take on Slade then we have to be prepared…”

“You never told me how you found that bow…”

Oliver was quiet like he didn’t want to answer at first. “I went back to where I want to take you… I scouted it to make sure that it’s safe and that I’ll be able to secure it the same way that it was before… I found it inside. I didn’t realize that he’d had a second bow…”

“And the arrows?”

“I know how to make them here…”

“Clever,” she whispered. 

“It’s going to be scary and you’re going to be alone, but you’re going to be safe. Slade won’t be able to find you,” Oliver told her. “I’ll be able to concentrate on looking for the medical supplies instead of worrying if you’re safe or not…”

She understood that. She did. That didn’t mean that she liked the idea any better. It wasn’t like she’d have a link to them. She was used to being able to talk to them or having a locator on them or video uplink from somewhere nearby. Here, she didn’t have that. Here, she was completely without any sense of security when it came to the others. She just had to hope for the best, that they’d all come back alive and in one piece.

“Okay,” she finally told him.

 

. . .

 

“You feel a little warm.”

“It’s probably just being outside,” Felicity told him. “I’m fine…really.”

So, she really wasn’t fine. She felt sick. Felicity was fairly sure that had to do with being moved and the immense pain she was fighting. She had stayed quiet though and had tried to keep Oliver from worry, or at least that was the plan. He was putting her in that cave to keep her safe, for his own sanity. She had to keep him from worrying even more…

“Diggle should—“

She reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. “I’m fine,” she told him levelly. She stared right at him and pushed forward a smile for him. Felicity just kept reminding herself that this was for him. She could do anything for him. 

“Okay,” he said finally. 

She could tell he was hesitant, but at least he wasn’t pushing. He started to go over things again. For…Felicity wasn’t even sure…which time… She knew where the water was… She knew that there were pain meds and extra bandages that Diggle had made. She honestly wasn’t even going to move if she could help it. If only they had sedatives…she’d just sleep her time away.

“You’re giving me that face…”

“Which one?” she asked, slightly amused by his comment.

“The one that says that you don’t need me telling you how to do your job.”

Felicity pushed forward an honest smile. “I’m going to be fine, Oliver,” she told him softly. 

He nodded slowly and then looked back over his shoulder before looking back at her. Sara and Diggle were outside. Diggle had already lectured her about taking care of herself. “I just—“

“You have to go,” she told him. She could tell that he didn’t want to leave. He’d told her that having her in this other location was going to keep him sane while they were away, but she could see that now he was having second thoughts. “I promise that I’ll be here when you get back,” she teased.

“You better be,” he replied with a bright smile. 

His hand through her hair until his palm cupped her cheek. She leaned into it and closed her eyes. She was going to miss him. She knew that they had to do this though… That they needed to both be okay with him going. “I’ll miss you,” she whispered before she really realized what she was saying. It wasn’t untrue, though. She would.

“I’m going to miss you,” he whispered back and then frowned slightly. “You are warm…” 

“I told you—“

“No,” he said firmly. “Diggle should look at you…”

“He said that I might run a slight fever if my body was fighting infection,” she reminded. “I don’t even feel it…” She felt slightly ill, but really…she had a feeling it could have been from all the pain. 

“I can’t just—“

With a sigh, Felicity reached out for the pain medication. It was ibuprofen and Diggle had already told her it was not only an anti-inflammatory and pain medication, but also a fever reducer. She held it up. “I’ll take this… I’ll drink some water and I’ll be fine… It’s just my body fighting—“

“We might be gone for more than a few hours—“

“Oliver, you have to do it.”

“Diggle could stay here.”

“You need him.”

“You need him,” Oliver countered. 

“You said that you’re not only going to look for medical supplies, but scout and see if maybe there’s equipment maybe I could get working again to get a signal out… That’s important,” she told him slowly. There was the one back at the fuselage, but Oliver had insisted that she needed proper tools and more parts to get it to work. He had tried years before… She hadn’t realized that he could be handy in that way, but it seemed like she was always discovering new facets to Oliver. She knew who he was, she did. Deep down in his soul, she knew the person he was. Now she was just discovering new quirks she never knew about. He’d promised her a story when they got back and she would hold him to it.

“But—“

“Please,” she pleaded quietly.

“I—“ he started and then stopped. He hung his head and then took a breath before looking back up at her. “I’ll try to make sure we’re not gone too long,” he finally spoke up. She could see him fighting with himself before he’d finally spoken up. Oliver finally moved his hand behind her head before leaning in and pressing a kiss to her forehead. He stayed there for a moment before finally moving away. “I’ll be back soon.”

“I look forward to it,” she barely breathed as she looked up at him. 

Watching him walk away was the hardest part.

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	4. Ghosts

“This island is a lot bigger than it looked from above the last time we were here,” Diggle commented.

“You were on Lian Yu?” Sara questioned.

“I said that the other day.”

“I guess I thought you meant you researched it…or from Oliver telling you about things that went on here.”

“Oliver’s pretty quiet about that.”

Oliver looked over at them. “There weren’t exactly five years of happy memories…”

“Right,” Sara said slowly.

Even though he’d told himself that he wouldn’t worry. He was worrying. Every step he took, he thought about Felicity. He knew that Slade wouldn’t find her. He could, but he wouldn’t. They had blocked the entrance and she had what she needed inside of that cave. It worried him though that she’d been warm when he’d left. He’d told Diggle, but he’d insisted that the ibuprofen would help and rest. Both of which she would get while they were gone. 

“You know, you’re not really here,” Sara commented.

“I’m here,” he argued.

“You’re thinking about her.”

“Who?”

“Felicity…”

“You can’t really complain about him caring,” Diggle spoke up. “I don’t like leaving her alone either.”

“She’s going to be fine,” Sara insisted. 

Oliver didn’t reply to her. He didn’t feel like he needed to. Though Sara had come in and been a part of their team, but he didn’t have the connection to Diggle and Felicity like he did. He knew that his caring about them was a liability, Slade had already proven that all too well, but he had to let someone in… It was them. It was different with them… 

It was different with Felicity…

Everything was different with Felicity…

He looked over and saw that Diggle was standing next to him while Sara had fallen back farther. There was a lot of walking and things seemed to have suddenly gotten tense. They’d already been to one spot and had come up with only a container of something that Diggle wasn’t even sure what it was. They’d brought it along, though, just in case.

“You okay?”

“Just…a lot of ghosts…”

“And you’re worried about Felicity,” he added quietly. 

“Her leg…and how much blood she lost—“

“Honestly, we have to focus on what we can do right now,” Diggle said with a sigh. “As cold as that sounds.”

He’d already planned on finding some of the herbs that Yao Fei had introduced him to his first time on the island. You didn’t need much to have a big impact. Oliver was terrified that her leg would get infected even though they’d been careful. It just wasn’t the optimal conditions… They didn’t have the supplies they needed… 

“She’s stronger than she looks.”

“Oh, I know,” Diggle told him with a smile. “The first time she started to argue with you…I thought that was going to be it…but you need it.”

Oliver allowed himself to smirk a bit at his response. “Good to know that you think Felicity and I arguing is a good thing…”

“Only when she’s putting you in your place.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but just smiled and shook his head.

“Believe me, it’s a rare thing… And you don’t listen to many people…”

“I listen—“

“Let’s be honest.”

“He’s right,” Sara piped up. “You don’t actually listen to most people… You just do what you think is best…”

“I do think about the consequences though…most of the time,” Oliver told them. 

They were getting close to one of the bases that had been on the island and he couldn’t help but worry that there were still people on the island even though he know otherwise. Oliver knew that it was just the ghosts, though. He saw them everywhere. This whole journey brought up memories…everywhere he looked he could see them… 

He had kept his mouth shut, but ever since they’d been at the fuselage, he’d seen her… She was quiet, but always there. He really didn’t know what to expect from her, but he had started to wonder if he’d hit his head really hard… Of course, Slade had knocked him around a good amount on the ship… So, that could explain the hallucinations…or maybe it was just guilt.

Shado.

He’d look over at her here and there, but that was it. She was dressed in her green hood, just like he remembered. She had her bow and her quiver and seemed like she was on the alert. It was like she was there with them. Like she was really there.

They crouched down outside of the camp, just to have time to look for any signs of movement. Slade could be there. Sara was on one side and Diggle was on the other. He was concentrating on the camp, just waiting and watching. He knew exactly where useful supplies might be if any were left. He really doubted that there were any left after all this time that would be useful. 

“She’s going to die.”

Oliver almost choked when the voice sounded off. His head immediately turned in the direction he’d last remembered seeing Shado’s ghost, near Sara. He just stared at her and waited. He was almost daring her to speak when he was watching. 

“What?” Sara said.

“She’s going to die,” Shado repeated, to his face this time. 

She didn’t seem upset or angry, but matter of fact in her tone. It was like she was giving him a direction. Oliver fought to keep a hold on reality. “N-what?” he managed to pull his attention to Sara. “Nothing…nothing…”

“Ollie?”

“Nothing,” he repeated more firmly as he turned his attention back to the camp in front of them. It seemed empty. Right now, he just had to hope that it was and that maybe they found some medical supplies that would make the trip worth it. “Let’s go,” he said finally. 

 

. . .

 

“He’s acting weird, right?”

“Oliver always acts weird as far as I’m concerned.”

“But compared to normal?”

“I can actually hear you both,” Oliver told them evenly. He was sure that Sara was irked at him…and Diggle was probably just used to his moody moods. Diggle also cared about Felicity, they were a team. 

“They’re right, you know.”

“Stop!” he found himself screaming. He turned to where Shado was standing and was about to say something else when he found both Sara and Diggle staring at him. “What?”

“Seriously, what’s going on? This is weird…even for you…”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he gruffed and then started to walk again with determination. He didn’t want to talk about this. He couldn’t. Plus, the last thing he needed was for them to think that he couldn’t be relied on.

“It’s getting dark,” Diggle spoke up. “Maybe we should think about finding a place to stop.” 

It was like it had suddenly hit him how far into the day they really were. They’d been gone for the majority of it and there was no way they were going to make it back before it was dark. They were right, they’d have to stay the night and then continue in the morning. That meant that Felicity would be on her own for at least two days…

“You did what you could, Oliver.”

Why was it that she’d only been talking to him today? She hadn’t bothered him before now… He just wanted to yell at her. He wanted to have it out with the hallucination or ghost of Shado… He wanted her to leave him alone. If Slade killing him was what was going to free him from everything…to ensure that Felicity got the care she needed and was safe…then he gladly welcomed it.

“Does she have a sister for you to cheat on?”

He froze in his tracks and squeezed his eyes shut. He remembered when he’d had to explain that to Shado, the look in her eyes. How disgusted she’d been with him in that moment. Oliver clenched his fists and slowly breathed in and out. 

“Oliver?” Diggle questioned.

“I need a minute,” he told them. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I just need a minute,” he insisted.

 

. . .

 

“You can’t know that!”

“I do.”

“You’re not real!”

“Then why are you arguing with me?”

“I—“ he stopped his angry pacing and turned around. He stared at her. She was beautiful, just as he remembered. She as so calm. It was like he was inside of a dream. He know it wasn’t though. He was awake. “Why are you here?”

“Why was I with you before?”

Oliver just stared at her. “When?”

“At Christmas. You needed me then.”

“I—“

Shado approached him. She was smiling and she just seemed so serene as far as Oliver was concerned. She reached out and ran her hand along his face. Oliver could feel her like she was there. He closed his eyes and focused on her touch. “They don’t understand you…”

“Digg—“

“He doesn’t push you,” Shado countered. 

“Sara kn—“

“Sara has known you the longest, but she still doesn’t know you…not yet,” Shado said slowly. She smiled as she stepped back. “She’s learning.” She reached out and placed her hand on his chest. “Someone else is your heart…”

“Felicity,” Oliver whispered. 

Shado nodded. “Felicity Smoak. When you first met her, you didn’t realize how important she would be in your life, did you?”

“Just like I never knew how important you would be to me,” Oliver admitted. 

He’d been out there for at least an hour, off alone by himself talking to Shado. He had to. She wouldn’t stop. Diggle had told him before that you had to figure out what the ghosts or hallucinations or whatever wanted… So, he had to do that. He felt like it was the only way that Shado would leave him alone. 

“I didn’t mean for—“

“I know,” Shado whispered as she took a step towards him. 

“I—“

“I know you’ve changed,” Shado told him. “But you still should let someone in… I know you don’t think you deserve love. That you’ll get hurt. That you’ll hurt them. That they’ll be put in danger.” She paused. “But you do deserve love…more than you think…”

“I can’t—“

“You won’t!” Shado pushed back. “Anything can happen, Oliver… Felicity might make it off this island… She might live to be old and grey…but she might also die next week in a car crash… Life is short. Life is precious. Life is worth living.” She took the last step until she was practically toe-to-toe with him. She leaned in and kissed his cheek., his eyes closed. “Live, Oliver,” she whispered into his ear. 

“Shado—“

“Who are you talking to?”

Oliver didn’t move, though. He stood there and waited. Shado didn’t speak again. He opened his eyes and found that she was gone. Was that all she had wanted? An hour of his time? To tell him that he was doing everything all wrong? To tell him that life was short? Oliver knew that. He did.

“What?” Oliver finally blurted out.

“You were talking to someone,” Sara said as she approached. “Digg and I were starting to get worried… I know you wanted to make it back to Felicity before it got too dark…but we still have a lot of ground to cover and you’ve been gone for a while…”

“I didn’t realize I was gone for so long,” he said as he turned to her. 

“Who were you talking to?”

“Shado.”

Silence.

He knew what she was thinking. Sara knew Shado, at least briefly. Oliver had no doubt that being on that island again reminded her of everything that happened there as well. That she saw ghosts everywhere she turned… How could she not?

“Say something,” he said finally. 

“What does she say?” Sara finally asked quietly.

“A lot,” he admitted. “Too much… She’s gone right now…but…”

“Is she who you were yelling at yesterday?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you just say something?”

“I didn’t want you to think I was crazy,” Oliver admitted. He was determined to do what he could in order to find supplies to help them and to help Felicity. So far, they really didn’t have much to show for their journey. “Diggle would be worried that something was wrong with me—“

“Is there?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted.

“Slade did throw you around and beat you a lot…” Sara pointed out. “You could have a head injury…”

“I don’t think it’s anything that serious.”

“How can you know?”

Oliver just shrugged. “I can’t.”

“Ollie—“

“Can we just keep going? I want to push and try to get back before it gets dark,” Oliver told her.

“Okay, but if you see Shado again, you need to let us know.”

“It won’t affect me—“

“Please, Oliver…”

“Sara, I just want us to focus on finishing this run.”

“You mean, you want to focus on getting back to Felicity.”

Oliver frowned and stared at her. “Is that really so wrong? I’m worried about her. I know that you haven’t known her long, but she’s my friend.”

“Is that really all it is?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Let’s just go before Digg comes looking for both of us.”

 

. . .

 

They had been gone for two whole days. They had ended up being out at the last site until later than Oliver had hoped. So now, on day three, they were heading back in the morning. He’d pushed to get up as early as possible. Both Diggle and Sara had made comments that it wasn’t a race since they’d left camp.

“She’s going to die.”

Oliver slowed and moved his head just a bit to look and see if Shado was back. She’d been gone since Sara had found him talking to her the morning before. Now, here she was, dressed in the green hood. 

“She’s been waiting for you.”

He tried to keep calm, but it made him just want to run. All he could think of was that they’d left her a lot longer than he’d originally wanted…and she hadn’t been one hundred percent when they’d left her. And for what? They really hadn’t found anything that was great. It was good, but nothing to the grade or quantity that Felicity really needed. The bottom line was that they needed a way off Lian Yu and they needed to get her to a hospital.

“She’s going to die on this island,” Shado whispered. “Just like I did…”

No.

No!

NO!

He wanted to scream out loud, but he picked up his pace once again. He couldn’t risk tipping off Sara or Diggle and having them force him to a complete stop just because he was seeing ghosts. This wasn’t anything new. Plus, he had a feeling that seeing just one ghost and that ghost not trying to physically harm him was an improvement over his last mental episode.

She’s going to be alright… 

She had to be.

 

. . .

 

It felt like they’d been walking for a whole day before they’d finally returned to the cave. The three of them worked together to remove the barrier that they’d put in place over the entrance in order to keep Felicity safe. From the outside, Oliver could already tell that Slade hadn’t been there. Nothing had been disturbed.

“I’m sorry, Oliver,” Shado spoke up.

He slid into the cave and immediately jogged to where they’d left Felicity. She was there where they’d left her, but she wasn’t sitting up in the same manner. Felicity was lying down and she seemed to be unconscious. He looked around and noticed that the ibuprofen was gone and so was her water, but the food looked untouched. He crouched down immediately and touched her face. 

Warm.

No.

Hot.

She was burning up.

“Felicity, come on…” he whispered and looked up to see Diggle standing there staring at him for a second before he was at her side as well. “We’re back… Open your eyes… Say something…”

“It should have gone down,” Diggle told him after he’d placed his hand over her forehead for a moment. 

He looked worried and that only worried Oliver more. “What’s wrong?”

“It could be anything,” Diggle told him. 

Oliver watched as Diggle moved down to her leg. He started to unwrap the bandages and then stopped. The look on Diggle’s face told him everything, something was wrong. Felicity really did need to go to the hospital. They’d wasted time away from her.

“It’s better this way,” Shado told him as she stood over Felicity’s body. “Let her be at peace.”

“No!” Oliver screamed as his head turned to Shado. He immediately noticed that Sara wasn’t far away, but didn’t say anything else. Instead, he tried to think. He needed to make this right. He wasn’t going to let her die on Lian Yu. She was going to be okay. He was going to get her home…she was going to get help at a hospital. He wasn’t losing her…not like Shado… “The bag…” he blurted out suddenly. It was like a light bulb had gone off in his head. 

One of the things that he’d discovered on Lian Yu was the healing powers of a native plant. Sometimes it almost seemed magical. In Starling City, he’d kept a pouch of it in the Foundry. On their trip around the island, he’d gathered some in hopes that it might help Felicity. He pushed himself to his feet and hurried for the backpack that they’d taken. Inside, he’d placed a bandana full of the plant that he’d found. 

“She’s going to need water,” he said once he returned to the bundled bandana.

“I still have some,” Sara offered as she held out her canteen to Diggle. 

They really had been lucky with some of the supplies they’d found on the island. He hadn’t realized just how much they’d taken it for granted until now. Oliver pulled out some of the plant and looked around for something that resembled a cup. It would be easier for her to take it if it was mixed with the water.

“I thought you have to make that into a tea,” Diggle spoke up.

“Not necessarily,” Oliver responded.

“Oliver, her leg looks infected…and the fever…she needs help…help that none of us can give her,” Diggle told him matter of factly.

Feeling like he really didn’t have the time to mix it better, he forcibly opened Felicity’s mouth and tucked some of the plant inside before slowly pouring water into her mouth. She swallowed it and choked a little, but the water and plant were gone. He just hoped that it would help.

“It’s too late,” Shado told him. “You’re only delaying the inevitable…”

“It’s Shado, isn’t it?” Sara spoke up.

“I thought Shado’s dead?” Diggle questioned.

“She is. But Oliver’s been seeing her.” Sara was quiet for a moment. Oliver really wasn’t caring about what they were saying. His full attention was on Felicity. “What did Shado say?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Oliver whispered as he reached out to push a sweat soaked tendril of blonde hair away from her face. “We have to get her fever down, right?” he asked and then turned to Diggle.

Diggle nodded slowly. “We do…but what about—“

“I’m good. Good enough until Felicity’s fever is down,” Oliver said and looked from Diggle to Sara and then back to Diggle again. “What can we do?”

“How cold is the water?” 

“Probably too cold if you plan on submerging her,” Sara told him. 

Oliver watched as Diggle really weighed his options. What choice did they really have? There weren’t many options. “I could find Slade—“

“No,” Diggle cut him off. “You’re going to find me a piece of plastic that can cover her stitches and hopefully some tape. We need to try to get her temperature lowered without making the infection worse… We have more ibuprofen and a couple pills of antibiotics, it’s not a lot…but it’s a start…”

He was immediately searching through a bag that they’d left there. He’d remembered finding a roll of tape, though he didn’t know how effective it ultimately would be for Diggle’s purpose and he knew that they had something that would work to cover Felicity’s stitches. It didn’t seem like it was enough though. None of it seemed like enough.

Shado couldn’t be right.

“I’m sorry, Oliver,” Shado whispered.

This time when Oliver turned towards her voice, Shado was sitting next to Felicity. All he could think was that even though Shado looked and seemed so calm and serene that somehow she was the grim reaper here to take Felicity away from him. He dropped the items and went to shove Shado away. “No!” he screamed and tears immediately fell. Arms grabbed him and suddenly Shado was just gone again. He looked down at Felicity and for that moment, he just wanted her to open her eyes. That was it. 

Open your eyes.

She didn’t.

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	5. Shadows

She was alone.

She hated being alone.

She was used to being alone.

The walls seemed to be closing in.

“Crap, I really am sick,” she mumbled to herself as she put her hand on her face and could feel the heated skin. Felicity hadn’t wanted to be the reason why they’d stayed though. She was injured, but she didn’t want to be seen as weak, pitied, or be a burden. No matter what Oliver and Diggle could say, that’s what she felt. 

Felicity didn’t know how much time had passed since they’d left, but she slowly eased herself down until she was flat on her back. Her leg was throbbing and though she’d taken the ibuprofen, she really didn’t feel any better. She still felt like throwing up. It really was a toss up on whether that was from the pain or from the fever that she was now no doubt running. 

She breathed and closed her eyes as she tried to make herself comfortable without jostling her leg too much. She really hoped that they weren’t gone too long and that maybe…just maybe they would be able to find some stronger painkillers. Seriously, she didn’t know how Oliver did it… She’d seen him naked from the waist up plenty of times and she just didn’t know how he’d endured…

Felicity breathed and just focused on thoughts of being cooler… 

The only thoughts that came to mind after thinking about Oliver’s half naked body, was in fact, Oliver and his half naked body… Okay, so she’s really seen more like seventy-five percent of his naked body… Oliver really had never seemed very shy when it came to walking around in whatever suited him at the Foundry… Not that she ever minded. 

She really didn’t. 

Oliver on the salmon ladder…especially after she’d had the lights added… 

 

. . .

 

Everything past that point had become a blur. She woke up at one point shivering. She’d tried to reach a jacket that they’d left for her, but she’d only been able to keep it on for a few minutes before she couldn’t stand it being on her. Felicity had taken the other dose of ibuprofen and drank the rest of the water. She’d stared at the food and knew that she should eat something, but it only made her feel nauseous. 

How much time had passed?

Why weren’t they back yet?

Had enough time passed between the last time she’d taken the other pills?

She really didn’t care.

Felicity just lay there and tried not to cry, but she suddenly was overwhelmed with emotions. She couldn’t hold it in. She felt like she was on fire, but then she’d feel like she was freezing… Her leg was more than throbbing. She was at the point where she just wanted it cut off…she swore it would hurt less.

“Oliver,” she choked out. 

Her head rolled to the other side as her eyes closed. She tried to tell herself that being upset wasn’t going to help her, but she couldn’t control it. Felicity just wanted to be held and for all the pain to be taken away… She wanted Oliver there, his arms around her. That really never happened, but the time it did… She’d taken so much comfort from it… 

She needed him.

He wasn’t there.

 

. . .

 

“Let go.”

“I can’t.”

“It’s time to rest.”

“I have to stay.”

“Everyone deserves to rest in peace.”

“He’s coming back.”

“Not soon enough…”

Those words stung. Felicity didn’t want to hear them. She couldn’t give up. It was dark and cold and she was wet. She didn’t know why she was soaking wet, but she was… 

Was she in the water?

She’d remembered being there when she’d first woken up before…and then Diggle had saved her… No, this was different. There was still pain in her leg…but she felt so much worse… There was a heaviness about her… She felt like she could let go, but Felicity gripped to her thoughts of Oliver. She’d promised him that she’d be there when he returned. She was going to keep that promise.

Wait, was she in the cave? Was it flooding? 

Suddenly, she realized that she was standing. She was in the cave; it was dark and only where she stood was barely lit. She was standing ankle deep in freezing cold water. 

“Accept it,” the voice pushed. 

The voice had only been there in the darkness at first before she’d had any realization of an environment beyond the black…even before she felt herself there. The voice wasn’t familiar to her. It was a woman’s voice, about her age as far as she could tell. Her tone was level, sincere, and almost content. Nothing about what the voice was saying made her feel content though. 

Was she dying? 

Was she dead?

“Oliver—“

“You’re only holding him back. Your continued existence will mean his death… Your death will guarantee that he survives… He’ll continue on in your name, in your memory…”

Suddenly she noticed a shadow just beyond the area that lit her. She squinted and strained her eyes in order to try to make out who was there. “Who are you?” she suddenly pushed forward. Felicity carefully picked up a foot and then directed her gaze downward. She was dressed completely differently than she’d remembered before. Felicity was clothed in a billowy grey dress that dropped to right above her knees. That wasn’t what shocked her the most though… Her leg was perfect and she suddenly realized that she didn’t have any pain like she’d had before. 

She was dead. 

She had to be.

Felicity reached out and touched her hair, it was curled and down. Her hands moved to her face, she had no glasses. Tears fell from her eyes and she looked into he dark. “Am I dead?”

“Not yet.”

“I’m not ready…” she said as her voice broke.

“We never are.”

“I need to be alive.”

“For him.”

Felicity was going to argue that she needed to be there for Diggle too, but she knew that that wasn’t the truth. Diggle would mourn her loss, but she didn’t think it would be the same impact as it would be for Oliver. Or at least that’s how she felt. “For him,” she echoed. 

Was that so bad?

“You’re going to get him killed.”

“I can’t break his heart,” Felicity blurted out, her voice breaking once again. “Not when I can still fight to stay with him…”

“You can’t always think of others.”

“That’s who I am.”

“Don’t you want peace?”

“Not now.”

And that was the truth. Felicity told herself that she’d go through a life of misery if it meant that she didn’t die right there, right then. She needed to see him, to be there when he came back. She needed to live for him. She needed to keep her promise. 

“I’m offering to make the pain go away,” the voice reminded.

“I’ll figure out how to handle the pain.”

“You’re not doing so great with it.”

“If he did it, then so can I.”

“You’re not as strong as he is. Even if you try to convince yourself differently.”

“But I can live. Right now, that’s enough.”

“Tomorrow, will it be enough?”

“It’ll have to be,” Felicity whispered. 

Silence.

“Who are you?” she asked the voice. “Do I know you?”

“No,” the voice replied in barely a whisper. 

“Who are you?”

“I’m who you needed, to make sure you returned to him,” the voice simply replied.

Was this a test?

Was any of it real?

She could sense that the voice was gone. Whoever she was. Whatever she was. Felicity turned in a circle before she realized that the darkness was overtaking her once again. The light went out and Felicity was once again lost in the void and the pain had returned.

 

. . .

 

“She’s still burning up.”

“What else can we do?”

“Pray.”

“What about her leg?”

“It’s infected.”

“You’re positive.”

“Have you looked at it?”

“I was hoping that I was wrong…”

“Faint red streaks have shown up around the wound… I’m worrying that she might have blood poisoning on top of the infection.”

“How bad is that?”

“At least it’s not as close to her heart as if it were in her arm, but we need to get her real medical help…and soon.”

She heard everything that they said, whether she really processed it or not. Really what she felt was the tension and the worry. They’d come back. She’d come back. 

The pain.

It hit her like a truck.

Felicity couldn’t process it in time; the sound that came out of her was horrible even to her ears. It was louder than a normal cry of pain and carried so much of the pain that she’d been experiencing bottled up into this one sound. She hadn’t meant to let it out or to worry anyone anymore than they were already worried.

“Felicity!”

“Hey, relax… Relax…”

Her hands clenched at her sides and she tried not to move her leg, but it moved just the same and sent another jolt of pain up her entire being. She panted for breath and then finally opened her eyes. 

She was in the cave.

Diggle was hovering over her, his eyes and face full of worry and concern. “We’re here with you,” he whispered as his hand cupped her cheek. “You’re still running a fever…”

Oliver’s face came into view and she relaxed almost instantly and unconsciously. “I promised…I would…be here,” she pushed out dryly. 

He smiled almost painfully down at her. “I never doubted it,” he said. She could see he was lying. He needed to work on that. She still had no idea how he went about his day lying to people and them not seeing right through it. Maybe it was just her who could see him so clearly.

“I told her I had to stay,” Felicity said as a smile spread across her face. 

She allowed her eyes to close; content in the knowledge that Oliver was there with her. That was enough for her. Felicity felt like she could sleep again, but he was shaking her a moment later.

“Who? Who talked to you? Who was here?” he demanded.

Her eyes snapped open again and stared up at him in confusion.

“God only knows how high her temperature is,” Diggle argued with Oliver. “She’s probably been hallucinating…”

“It was just a voice…in the darkness,” Felicity responded to Oliver, ignoring Diggle. Oliver really was her only concern right now. He was her reality and he was whom she was clinging to in an effort of keeping calm, still, and sane. 

“A woman’s voice?” Oliver asked.

“Ollie—“

“Yes,” Felicity told him.

“Who was she?” he pushed.

“I—“ Felicity started and then couldn’t continue. The world blurred around her quickly and the blackness took her again. It pulled her from him and into the cold and pain.

 

. . .

 

When Felicity woke, the first thing she noticed was how cold she felt. She reached out to try to grab the jacket that she’d remembered leaving not far from her. She couldn’t find it. She opened her eyes and then closed them again. 

How could a cave be that bright?

She wrapped her arms around herself and that was when she realized that she was wearing a lot less clothing than she’d been wearing before. Felicity started to lightly trace along her side in order to ascertain what she was still wearing. A bra and panties. Not exactly warm or modest. 

What the hell had happened?

Felicity groaned and opened her eyes again. Had she managed to strip down further than she remembered? She realized that she was probably wearing lacy undergarments too, so that really didn’t make her feel anymore covered. She looked to the side, but didn’t see anyone…she did notice that sunlight was filtering in through the exposed entrance.

They were back.

She stopped and thought. She knew that. Oliver and Diggle had checked on her before…

How long ago had that been?

Felicity slowly moved and tried her best to get herself up into a sitting position. It was a struggle and it was painful, but she managed it. She remembered the voice. Felicity remembered that she told herself that she could handle a life of misery and pain if it meant returning to Oliver. 

She could do this. 

She could. 

She had to.

“Hey…not too fast…”

Felicity turned her head to see Oliver rushing to her side. She crossed her arms over herself feeling suddenly exposed. “I—I don’t know what---my clothes—and I—“

“You were burning up,” Oliver explained. “We were holding you in the water outside… Trying to get your body temperature down… Your blouse and skirt are hanging up outside… Though, I’m not sure how appropriate they are for this setting…”

“Probably more appropriate than what I’m in right now,” she told him, her eyes never leaving his.

“Right,” Oliver said quickly and looked away for a moment. He left her without another word. He returned a moment later. He came bearing gifts, dry clothing. She appreciated clothing… She really wasn’t used to being so naked in front of Oliver…or anyone else. 

He carefully and gently helped her put the shirt that he offered. It wasn’t her blouse, but she really didn’t care where it came from right now. All she cared was that she was covered up. He just covered her lower half with a jacket. “I don’t want to move your leg,” Oliver told her.

“I can handle it,” she told him levelly.

“I can’t,” he told her. 

Felicity stared at him. “I don’t really remember much…”

“It’s probably better that way…” 

She could tell that he believed that. Maybe he was right. She had to trust him. After all, what other choice did she really have? “How long were you gone?”

“Too long,” he told her quietly.

Felicity could tell that he was distracted. She frowned as she studied him for a moment in silence before finally speaking up. She’d known Oliver long enough to know when he wasn’t saying something. What could possibly be on his mind? What wasn’t he saying? Was he keeping something from her? If he didn’t say and she didn’t ask, then her mind was just going to go to the worst-case scenario. 

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Oliver—“

“It’s nothing—“

“You’re lying,” Felicity told him frankly. “You can’t lie to me. No secrets between us… At least, there shouldn’t be…”

“The last time you were awake,” Oliver said and then paused. He seemed like he was reconsidering what he was about to ask. He paused for a long time before he finally opened his mouth again. “You said that you talked to someone… There was a woman’s voice… Diggle thinks that you were just hallucinating…or dreaming…”

“The voice,” she breathed and she remembered. 

How could she forget?

Felicity remembered that vividly like it was a precious memory. It was the one thing that she did remember in the last, she didn’t know how many days… How was that possible? Did it mean something? Was it a dream? A hallucination? She knew that it couldn’t be a memory… 

“I remember,” Felicity said a moment later. 

He was still staring at her and he still looked hesitant. Felicity wondered why. Did she really look that horrible? How long had she been out? How bad was it when she was out before? Was she really that bad off now? Was that why he was worrying so much? 

“You said it was a woman’s voice,” Oliver finally said quietly.

Felicity merely nodded slowly.

“Do you know who it was?”

“No,” Felicity replied and tilted her head as she watched him. “Why?”

“I—“ he started. He stopped and that worried her. He was keeping something from her. It only worried her. “Slade must have rattled around my head pretty good on the ship,” Oliver finally spoke up, not looking at her. He was looked downward and Felicity just wanted to see his eyes, to know that he was okay. “I’ve been seeing and hearing…”

“Ghosts?”

“Yeah,” he responded as his head flipped back up, his eyes meeting hers. 

“The voice… I think she was a ghost…or an angel…”

“Maybe both,” he said as he stared at her. 

She didn’t know what to say. He seemed a little shaken, but like he was okay right then. Oliver had hallucinated before. This wasn’t entirely new, but it wasn’t exactly comforting to hear. They couldn’t all be so messed up. They needed to get off that island…

“Are you okay?” she questioned quietly, still studying him.

His palm cupped her cheek as he stared at her. “I think so.”

Felicity smiled just a little before her hand moved up to cover his. “I’m not going anywhere.” She was trying to be reassuring, so she just hoped that she came off that way. She was still tired and felt weak and was in far too much pain, but she could push it all aside if it meant being there for him. 

“I won’t let you…”

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	6. Failing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter!

“What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.”

“Oliver, you’ve had that look on your face all day.”

“Felicity needs help.”

“She won’t—“

“She doesn’t need to know until I’m already gone.”

“You think that the voice that Felicity heard was Shado, don’t you?” 

Oliver turned his attention to Diggle. Sara was supposed to be sleeping inside the cave. Felicity was actually sleeping as well, which left him and Diggle time to sit outside and just talk. He was really hating these talks that he kept seeming to have with everyone. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Why would she dream of Shado? Felicity doesn’t even know Shado. She’s heard me talk about her, that’s it.”

“It’s probably just a coincidence,” Diggle tried to assure.

He shook his head and clasped his hands together. “I have to go out there and find Slade. I need to give myself to him, so that she can get the help that she needs.”

“He might not do that, Oliver.”

“Slade might be crazy because of the Mirakuru, but he wouldn’t just let Felicity die…”

“How do you know that?”

“He was my friend.”

 

. . .

 

“This is insane!”

“I’ve made my decision!”

“And what about the rest of us?”

“I’m doing this for all of you!” Oliver snapped as he stomped towards Sara. Sara was one of those people who knew exactly how to push his buttons; he figured it was because she’d had so much practice growing up with him. He hated that now. She was stubborn. He was stubborn. It didn’t make anything easy. He hadn’t intended on things turning into a crazy shouting match.

“What? And we don’t get a say?”

“What do you want to say on it, Sara?” he asked, as he got right in her face. Oliver had thought that he’d be able to just leave without there being a big deal made of it. He’d said his goodbye to Felicity; he’d even left her a note. It was the best conditions, she’d been unconscious, and he hadn’t had to flat out tell her the truth to her face. Diggle had just looked disappointed, but Oliver felt like he understood. He was sure that Diggle would have done the same thing if their roles had been reversed.

“I want you to fight, Ollie!”

“Look at how far that’s gotten us!”

“We’re all alive!”

“She won’t make it long, you know that,” Oliver said, his voice dropped to almost a whisper. His tone was angry and serious. Why was she doing this? It was already hard enough for him. He didn’t need her to add to it.

Sara just stared at her. “Shouldn’t she have a say in all of this?”

“You know she won’t want me to go.”

“With good reason!”

“I won’t bury her here!” Oliver told her. This was not the first time he’d told her this. He’d buried too many people there… He wouldn’t bury her as well. He wouldn’t fail Felicity as he had his father and Shado…and so many others…

“Then be smarter than Slade!”

 

. . .

 

As the sun went down on Lian Yu, Oliver couldn’t believe that he’d let Sara talk him out of going after Slade. Felicity was worse. The streaks on her leg had already darkened and moved away from the wound. She was chilling rather than running a temperature and she wasn’t eating anything. He knew that Diggle didn’t want to be the one to say it, but Oliver knew that they were going to lose her soon if something wasn’t done. So, he’d spent far too much time coming up with this option B. He hated option B. 

“This is the right thing to do.”

“Don’t talk to me.”

“Oliver, I’m on your side.”

“You keep telling me that she’s going to die. How is that on my side?”

“We all need to face reality,” Shado told him.

He turned to stare at her; tears were running down his face. “I don’t think I can do this…”

“You have to.”

Sara had offered to help him, but he’d wanted to be alone. He stared down at the graves. His father…and Shado. He still didn’t know if she was a hallucination or a ghost. Did it really matter? Either way, she was there talking to him. It wasn’t just that though, the amount of guilt mixed with immense sadness over how much he missed her…it was almost too much to handle every time he looked at her. 

Now here he was digging a fourth grave. He hadn’t wanted to do this. He hadn’t wanted it to come to this. He wanted to get her off the island. He wanted to save her. He didn’t want to fail her. 

“She deserves to be at peace. You have to accept this.”

This grave should have been for him. Oliver knew that he had to break down now because he couldn’t do it later. He’d be going after Slade and he’d be making sure that he finished things… Slade Wilson was once his friend…like Shado, but the Mirakuru had poisoned him and there was just no way back after everything. After this… 

“It should be me in the ground.”

“You still have work to do.”

“I’m tired!”

“You have to continue.”

“I don’t want to!” he yelled at the top of his lungs as he tossed the shovel aside and stared at Shado. “I’m too tired… I’ve failed too many… I just want to trade my life for hers… That’s it… I’m okay with it. I’ve made peace!”

“Your time on this Earth isn’t done yet,” Shado whispered.

“I can’t—“

“YOU MUST!”

 

. . .

 

“Oliver, I can—“

“I want to be the one,” he said quietly as he scooped up Felicity’s cold, lifeless body. He couldn’t bear to look at any of them. “If that’s—“

“Let’s just get this done,” Diggle said. Oliver could hear the anger and upset in his voice. 

They all walked to the gravesite. Oliver lowered her gently wrapped body into the grave. Her face wasn’t wrapped and she looked so pale and so unlike the Felicity that he remembered. Oliver didn’t care who saw, he leaned in and kissed her temple. This wasn’t where she belonged. “This isn’t right,” he whispered.

“I know,” Diggle spoke up and was the first one to start to fill in the hole. 

They dirt was pushed in, but not packed down. Instead of rocks, like the others, they’d covered her grave with fern and brush. They weren’t leaving her there. They were coming back. This was all just temporary. 

It had to be.

“We should go,” Sara finally spoke up in a quiet whisper.

Oliver grabbed the bow and quiver before straightening up. “Last time I thought he was dead… I put an arrow through his eye—“

“We’ll make sure of it this time,” Sara assured quickly. “We’ve learned more since then…”

“Not enough,” Oliver whispered sadly. He looked back at the graves once more before the three of them headed out into the dark jungle. This wasn’t over. It wouldn’t be over until Slade was dead…and perhaps him as well. Anything to keep from failing anyone else. It was worth his life, no matter what anyone else thought. 

He wouldn’t fail again.

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	7. Blood on Our Hands

He stared down at the blood on his hands. This hadn’t been the first time that they’d been covered and Diggle knew it wouldn’t be the last.

“Digg,” Sara whispered. “It’s over.”

Slowly, he turned to look at her. Sara, he realized, had grasped his wrist. “It’s not,” he responded.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“We don’t have time—“

Sara put an arm around him and she was guiding him to shore. “Oliver already went to get her.”

“He shouldn’t be alone,” Diggle said slowly. It was just a lot to take in. The day had been a blur and he’d happily forget it all about.

“I think you’re wrong about that,” Sara told them. They knelt down by the water and washed off the blood. “This is one of those times where he needs to be alone.” Sara was quiet for a moment. “We need to make sure that things are ready when Oliver returns.”

“Do we even have a plan?” he asked. As relieved as he was that Slade was no longer a threat to him, he still found himself ready to surrender. He was physically and emotionally exhausted. 

“Get to mainland China,” Sara told him. “Oliver and I should be able to talk our way through… Get to the US Embassy. Oliver will be able to have everything expedited as far as papers…and we go home.”

“And what about Felicity?”

“We prepare one of the rooms on that boat for her,” Sara told him.

Diggle was sure that Sara could separate herself more easily from her emotions associated with Felicity. After all, Sara hadn’t known Felicity like he or Oliver had. Diggle felt sick and just…he wanted to be alone. Felicity was family to him.

“We all have jobs to do,” Sara told him. She’d straightened herself up; her tone was even and serious.

 

. . .

 

They’d found Slade and his boat. It was large enough, but smaller than Diggle had expected. Smaller than the Queen’s Gambit for sure. Diggle really wasn’t sure about their plan of attack, but Oliver seemed to be on a timeline. They didn’t have much in the way of weapons…which worried Diggle. This all was shaping up to be a suicide mission, but really…what other choice did they have?

“I really would have rather have had my staff,” Sara mumbled as they sat there.

Diggle would much rather have his weapon of choice as well, along with a back-up or two just for safety. He was certain that Oliver wished he had his gear as well, though he most likely wouldn’t voice it. He just didn’t understand how they were actually going to kill Slade. Oliver had tried in the past and obviously it wasn’t an easy task…

“We go in. We sweep the boat. We take out any others that might be there…and then Slade,” Oliver said as if it were a simple operation.

It wasn’t that simple.

There was no way it would be that simple.

 

. . .

 

He and Sara took time on the boat. It was going to be some time until Oliver arrived back. Diggle was having a hard time focusing on the task at hand, but Sara kept pushing. He knew it had to be done, but he really didn’t want to do any of it. 

“You okay?”

“No,” he responded as he stared down at the pool of blood in the middle of the room. This wasn’t how he had thought it would end. The bloody mess was just too much for him. In hindsight, he knew that killing Slade in that way really was the only way to know for sure that he’d stayed dead…but it just seemed so extreme. 

“I’d say it’s going to be okay, but I think we both know that it’s going to be a lie,” Sara said with a sigh. “At least there’s a drain?” she pointed out a little hopeful. 

He hadn’t missed that. The room they were in was rather large and had a drain in the middle of it; the floor slanted slightly inward so water would naturally flow towards the drain. Diggle knew that this had been the room that they’d been tortured in. This was the room that Slade had dragged Felicity out of and told them that they wouldn’t see her again. This was where he’d thought that she was gone in the first place.

“I guess…” he muttered finally. “I’ll go see if there’s a hose…” he said before turning and heading away from her. He still wanted to be left alone, but she was right…they had jobs to do. The work had to get done.

 

. . .

 

He was going to be so bruised. Diggle’s arm was already sliced, but it was purely superficial. This just seemed to be Slade beating them and throwing them around. He wondered if this really was the best idea. Before they’d even stepped onto the ship, he’d thrown out the possibility of needing Slade and his blood in order to possibly help someone. The regenerative properties because of the Mirakuru could be life or death. Oliver and Sara had both shot down that idea, so no one else could die.

Sara’s staff had been broken apart long ago and now Slade was crushing Oliver’s bow. Diggle watched in horror as Slade started in on Oliver. He yanked him forward and Diggle was sure that this was the end for all of them. He’d managed to find a gun, but had ended up using all of the bullets already. They didn’t even phase Slade. Slade got a hold of Oliver and it looked like he was going to crush him when Sara pulled one of the swords from the sheath on Slade’s back. 

Everything seemed to move so quickly then. It was like watching a movie and all Diggle knew to do at that point was to get back because the only weapon he had was an empty gun. Could he use it? Sure, he could clobber Slade with it. Was that going to help anyone? He highly doubted it. The only thing it was likely to achieve was for Diggle to get some broken bones, he still was wondering if he could have some fractures.

“You—“ Slade started as he turned towards Sara.

It was then that Oliver was able to pull out the other sword. To say that Slade was unarmed would be inaccurate since his blood was the real weapon in that room. The Mirakuru in his system was far more dangerous than both of those swords…and his gun if it were loaded. He was more dangerous than a whole armed army.

Slade just laughed now as he turned in a circle, Sara and Oliver on either side of him with the swords. “Do you really think you can defeat me?!” he screamed and then laughed again. 

“We can try!” Oliver spat.

“I saw you digging her grave,” Slade taunted.

Diggle suddenly wanted to get in on the action, but knew that he’d only be in the way if he did. He didn’t want to be in the way, if he could help it. Instead he left the room in order to find a possible new weapon. There had to be something on that vessel that could be used to defeat Slade.

He swore he was gone no more than five minutes before he heard Slade’s screams coupled with Oliver’s and Sara’s. He’d froze in his tracks and had just grabbed the knife he’d found and sprinted back to where he’d left them. 

In the middle of the floor was a large pool of blood. That wasn’t what dominated the center of the room though. It was the slouched headless form of Slade Wilson. The head, Diggle looked around for to make sure he wasn’t going to trip over it or kick it. He didn’t see it and assumed that it was closer to the body on the other side. Oliver and Sara were standing on either side with the swords still in their hands. 

This was the only way, he told himself.

Slade Wilson was like those vampires in the ‘Twilight’ books that Carly had told him about back when she was reading them. You had to take off the head, pull off the limbs, and burn them so that they’d die. At least Slade Wilson didn’t sparkle. He just stared though. There was so much silence, it was almost unreal. 

“We need to get Felicity,” Oliver finally spoke up.

“We need to ensure that this is over first,” Sara countered.

“Then we burn the body…”

Sara nodded.

Things so simple a decision between the two of them. It was almost like they were in sync when it came to the island. Without saying a word, though, Diggle moved towards the body. Sara and Oliver did the same and they all gripped a different part of the body in order to move it. Diggle could feel the blood on his hands and gripped tighter in order to keep hold. 

It wasn’t going to be pretty, but at least they’d know he was really dead.

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	8. Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully people are understanding the time jumps. My friend has already told me that not everyone thinks like I do and might not understand them since I didn't label them 'present' and 'the other day' or what not. I know that people have been upset/confused, but I'm hoping that this chapter will explain some things!

As he made his journey back to the gravesite, all he could think about were those last moments with Slade… The things that Slade had said…and how Shado had disappeared when Slade was finally killed. Oliver wondered if his unconscious was just holding her around until Slade was taken care of. 

He was running, he didn’t know if it really mattered. All he knew was that he needed to get there. It wasn’t like if he got to the gravesite that the grave would be empty. The only way that Felicity’s body would have been removed was if Slade had gotten there…but that wasn’t what happened and it wouldn’t happen. 

Not now.

He’d lost so much on that island. Oliver didn’t know if he wanted to make it back to the boat. Maybe he could just lie down and die at the graves. He should have died there years ago. The only thing was that Oliver knew that Diggle and Sara would never leave there without him. They were in this together and they’d just search for him.

He couldn’t keep them there. 

Not because of him.

When he finally set his eyes upon the graves, he stopped. He didn’t slow. He came to a complete stop. Standing near the graves was Shado once again. She was wearing the hood once again, just like he remembered her. She was smiling and he didn’t know if she seemed happy or content…but it definitely wasn’t sad.

“Shado.”

“Oliver,” she responded.

“I thought you were gone.”

“It’s not his fault… He wouldn’t have tried to hurt you before the Mirakuru,” Shado said slowly.

“I know,” Oliver said. “It’s why I wouldn’t let Diggle take any of Slade’s blood… The Mirakuru isn’t worth it…” Losing any of his friends…their bodies…their minds…or even their souls…it wasn’t worth it. He would rather that they just rest in peace. The aftermath of what the Mirakuru would be so much worse… He was just thankful that Diggle and Sara were okay; at least that he’d been able to tell from glancing at them before he left. He realized that he hadn’t even asked them before he left.

He wasn’t thinking clearly.

He knew that.

That wasn’t to be denied.

“You’ve lost too much.”

“I’m not leaving her here.”

“Let her be at peace, Oliver.”

Oliver ignored her and crouched down to start to remove the ferns. It only took him a minute before her face appeared. Felicity’s face was ashen and when he brushed his hand against her cheek, she was so cold. “I’m sorry,” he whispered and tried to hold in his sobs. His chest already ached as he held in his pain. 

His hands carefully pushed the loose soil away from her wrapped body. He wanted her free so badly. Oliver just wanted to pull her out and hold her. This was all his fault… She should have never been taken by Slade. She should have never been on the island. She should have never been put in danger because of him. 

He loved her.

Once she was free from the shallow grave, he scooped her up into his arms. Her limp body was so light in his arms. “I’m taking you home, Felicity,” he whispered. 

Returning to the boat would take so much longer, but he would appreciate the time. He needed it. He needed to process everything that had happened. He needed to figure out what they were going to do. He needed to straighten out what was going to happen next. 

Get to the boat.

Get to the mainland without dying.

Get to the US Embassy.

Get home.

That was what had to be done. It seemed like something that was going to take him weeks to do, but he knew that it would be much quicker. Oliver still wasn’t sure if he could go through with it. They wouldn’t leave him behind, but what really did the future hold for him? Starling City was another lifetime. He only got the people he loved killed. He’d failed… He didn’t want to fail anyone else.

“Goodbye, Oliver.”

He stopped. It took him a moment, but he got the courage up to turn. Not only was Shado standing there, but Yao Fei, Slade, and his father as well. They all looked exactly as he remembered. They all looked happy and it only made it worse for him. “Goodbye, all of you,” he managed to get out. He stood there for a moment and they just disappeared right in front of him. Oliver sucked in a shaky breath before turning once again. There was still a lot of land to cover before he returned to the boat.

 

. . .

 

“Sara! Diggle!” he called as he approached the boat. He stopped and looked to his left to stare at the spot where he’d built the pyre to burn Slade’s body. It was still burning. When he turned back towards the boat, Sara was standing there. 

“Diggle said that he wanted to look us both over before we leave,” Sara told him. 

Oliver took his time getting onto the boat. It really wasn’t the best place to have a boat of that size parked, but he managed. He just hoped that they’d be able to get it out and that the bottom wasn’t stuck in the floor of the sea. “I’m fine.”

“That’s what I told him too, but he’s insisting,” Sara pushed. 

“We have more important things to worry about.”

“As much as I agree with you,” Sara said, trying to help him as he boarded. “I think we really need to just let him do it. He’s been through a lot too, Ollie. He needs to feel like he’s useful…”

“Once we’re at least gotten the ship away from the island,” Oliver pushed.

“Okay,” she said. “Shall I go and try to get the ship away? I think I understand the controls?”

“Sure.” He really didn’t care right now. He understood what she was saying, about Diggle and about the ship. The thing was that he was more concerned about stowing Felicity away. He wanted to ensure that she would be safe until he could get her home, like he promised.

Like he promised.

He watched as Sara went for a moment before heading below. He knew that he’d find Diggle there. Oliver wondered if Diggle thought that he had lost it. Maybe he had. He couldn’t help it, though. He hadn’t been battling Slade Wilson, his friend… He’d been battling Deathstroke, the killer who was hell bent on destroying everything and everyone that he loved. What he’d done had saved lives. He was sure of that.

Oliver found Diggle in the room that had once been covered in Slade’s blood. The floor was still wet, but now were blood free. Crates had been stacked to one side that resembled very much a table. He hated the idea of laying her on a cold table. He wanted to lay her to rest in a bed. 

Felicity didn’t deserve this.

“Diggle,” he croaked out. 

Oliver was terrified.

He moved her from his arms and onto the make shift table. Oliver stared down at her and wondered if it really all was worth it. 

“Oliver, how—“

“I don’t know,” he barely whispered.

 

. . .

 

“We shouldn’t even be talking about doing this,” Diggle argued.

“We’re talking about keeping her safe,” Sara pointed out. “I can guarantee you that Slade isn’t going to look for her there. Not alive anyways.”

“What could happen? We might be gone for a day…if not a bit longer...” Oliver asked. He was surprisingly calm. Maybe it was because he didn’t really see any other choice. He was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t. He didn’t want to be damned in that way. He wanted to get her the help she needed and get her home. 

“Honestly,” Diggle said and sighed. He rubbed his head as he started to pace. “I can’t know for sure… She could die. But—“

“But?”

“But she could just end up with a mild or moderate case of hypothermia given that the island’s temperature doesn’t drastically drop,” Diggle said. “It’s possible that it could work to our advantage… It might buy us more time.”

“Slade’s ship would have medicine,” Sara said. “Wouldn’t it? At least more than we’ve been able to scrounge up.”

“It’s all we have,” Oliver told Diggle.

“And what if we come back and she’s gone?” Diggle questioned.

Oliver honestly didn’t know what he’d do if he came back and found her dead. Digging the grave was going to be emotional enough for him, he didn’t need to think of the worst-case scenario as well. “Then, we’ll make sure that she goes home… No matter what… We won’t leave her on Lian Yu.”

 

. . .

 

“She’s barely breathing.”

“She’s so cold.”

“We should keep it that way for now.”

“For how long?”

“Not much longer…” Diggle explained. “I gave her antibiotics and pain pills. They had better stuff for the pain than just ibuprofen. So, I’m hoping that a couple doses of both will help her to heal faster… The stronger she gets, the easier on her body when we go to reheat her slowly.”

“But she’s alive,” Oliver whispered as he stared down at her. They were both quiet for a minute. “I’m going to keep my promise.”

 

. . .

 

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who have been wondering why I haven't replied to your comments, since I always reply...I will be replying soon. I didn't want to reply and ruin the twist. For those of you who don't know this, it's very very unlikely that I kill off a main character and you usually know it's going to happen in the first chapter. I'm usually very much of a happily ever after or at least happy moments writer! :D Still more to come!


	9. Fractured

Felicity remembered that she wondered if she was dead or not. She remembered being buried and then unburied. She remembered Oliver, Diggle, and Sara’s voices. They were a blur, but they were there. But none of that convinced her that she was alive. She wasn’t in pain anymore, but she was so cold. It was like she was in ice…no, like she was under it.

“We’re getting you to a hospital.”

“You’ve got to hold on.”

“You’re strong, Felicity.”

“Stay with me, Sweetheart.”

“We’re almost there.”

“Oliver speaks Mandarin. Did you know he spoke Mandarin?”

“We’re here, Felicity. We’re here.”

“We’re here…”

“We’re here. Felicity! Felicity!”

“She’s so cold.”

“Open your eyes…”

Their voices were getting heavy sounding. Felicity had tried to grasp to them, to keep her mind as attached to them as she could, but she felt like she was falling. She felt like she was falling to the bottom of the frozen ocean. She wanted to open her eyes, to open her mouth, to speak, to reach out for someone…but she couldn’t.

There was just cold.

Darkness.

Weight.

And the ice.

 

. . .

 

“They don’t want to move her until she’s stabilized.”

“As soon as Felicity’s okayed to be moved, we’ll transport her home. There’s a jet en route to take us all home.”

Home.

Felicity just wanted to go home.

She still wasn’t sure what to think though. 

There was still darkness and cold, but she could hear voices again and the pain…she’d felt the ebb of it. Did that mean she was alive? Did that mean that she was safe? Was she going home? Would they be going home?

She couldn’t open her eyes and she couldn’t speak, but when someone took her hand she squeezed back to tell that person that she was still there. Felicity felt like this was the closest to screaming she could do right now. She didn’t know what was wrong with her or what was really happening…all she knew was that her family was there with her and they were talking about going home. She wanted them to know she wanted to go home too. That she was still there.

They squeezed back.

“I’m here, Felicity,” he whispered into her ear.

Felicity knew that voice.

Oliver.

“Sara and Diggle are sleeping… We’ve all been here the whole time…” he continued. “We’ve not leaving you… As soon as you’re strong enough, we’re going to get on the QC jet to go home…”

She squeezed his hand the best she could again. There was something so comforting about him being there and knowing that he knew that she could hear him. 

“Slade’s gone, Felicity. He’s not going to hurt anyone again.”

Slade…

She remembered being put into the cold ground… She remembered the dirt being filled in around her and then how she’d been covered with plants. Felicity had woken up briefly here and there after they’d left her. She’d panicked for a brief second each time and then remembered how they’d promised that she’d be safe and how they’d come back for her. She always believed them. 

And they’d come back for her.

She was somewhere safe.

A hospital?

They were going home…

Soon.

 

. . .

 

Felicity hadn’t asked how long she’d been unconscious. She didn’t even know if they knew. Sara had explained that they’d killed Slade, taken his ship, and they’d sailed it in the direction of Mainland China. Oliver had managed to talk his way through and Sara was fairly certain that some of his family’s money may have exchanged hands in order to really make everything work in the end. Sara hadn’t acted like it was a big deal, Felicity felt like if that was what happened that it was…

“You should be stabilized,” Diggle complained. 

“I want to go home,” Felicity argued. “It’s not like they can easily airlift me in a helicopter to Starling General.”

“She’s not walking… We’re keeping the leg elevated as much as possible,” Oliver pointed out.

“I’m just worried about her leg,” Diggle said. “She’s only been conscious for two days…”

“She’s going to get better treatment back home, though,” Sara countered.

“And hopefully there will be less arguing, so my head doesn’t pound like it’s starting to,” Felicity complained. 

It seemed like it was enough to stop all the arguing. She knew that Diggle was only concerned for her, but she knew that she’d feel better in a lot of ways if they went home. She hadn’t even looked at her leg yet. Diggle had told her before that it was going to be horribly scarred. They’d had it wrapped and stable. When they’d changed the bandages before, she’d just stared up at the ceiling. She just didn’t want to know yet. 

“We’re so close,” Sara said as the vehicle stopped.

Felicity looked out and saw the QC jet. She wasn’t sure if she was ever so happy to see one. At least they didn’t have to worry about Isabel Rochev crashing their trip…unless she was already on board. Oh how Felicity hoped that that wasn’t who they’d find now that she’d thought of it. 

“You’re going to let me carry you,” Oliver told her.

She already knew that there was no way she was walking or putting pressure on that leg. Felicity knew that they were all still so worried. She knew that they had their reasons and that they were good reasons. “Okay,” Felicity just told him quietly. She stared at him and could see how tired he was. He was flat out exhausted, but he hadn’t allowed himself to sleep until she had opened her eyes.

The transition from the car to the plane wasn’t nearly as painful as she’d feared. Diggle had been ready to give her another dose of pain pills. They’d gotten her a good spot where she could nap for the flight. Felicity was sure that those pain pills were knock her out for the entire flight. 

“Oliver,” she whispered. 

“I’m here,” he said as he knelt down next to her.

“Promise me that you’ll sleep.”

“When we get home…and we get you into the hospital there.”

“Stay here with me and sleep…”

Felicity had noticed that Sara and Diggle had sat up front and started to talk right after Diggle had made sure that she was set for the flight. She knew that they had the closest allowance of privacy that they’d had in a long time. All she wanted was to fall asleep and know that when they woke up that they’d all be rested. 

“Felicity, I—“

“I can move over,” she told him as she tried to scoot over on the couch-bench-thing on the plane. 

“No, no,” he said. “No moving.” Oliver grabbed an extra pillow that Diggle had left nearby and made himself comfortable on the floor beside her. “I can sleep here.”

“That looks uncomfortable,” she told him as she looked over at him.

“I’m used to the ground.”

“I will be so happy when I’m finally allowed to be home in my own bed, with my pillows and blankets,” she told him as she closed her eyes and told herself to think of that as she tried to fall asleep.

She heard a sort of stifled laugh from Oliver. “We’ll be back home by the time you wake up,” he whispered.

Felicity smiled before finally letting sleep overtake her.

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	10. Coming Home isn't Easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so someone said that they found my old scene breaks too easy to miss, so I've made them a bit bolder. Let me know if this is better to help distinguish the scene breaks.

“Oliver!” 

He knew that they were happy to see him. It was like being back from the island all over again. Oliver turned to find not only his mother and Thea, but Quentin Lance and Walter Steele as well. He pulled in a deep breath and knew that this wasn’t going to be easy. He really didn’t know how to deal with this at all… 

Not right now.

People in Starling City didn’t know that Sara Lance was alive. Everyone still thought that she’d gone down in the China Sea when the Queen’s Gambit had gone down six years ago. They’d come up with a story on the plane, but Oliver just didn’t want to deal with it right now. All he wanted to do was to hear from the doctors there. 

“Ollie!” 

“Speedy,” he breathed as he hugged Thea, who had practically thrown herself at him. 

“Can you please, please, PLEASE stop disappearing and making me think I’ve lost you?!” Thea asked as she looked up at him, right before she punched him in the arm. She was clearly upset and he could understand that, but he was there and he was alive. Wasn’t that what mattered?

“Ow! Speedy…” he complained, though it really didn’t hurt. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“Has a doctor looked you over?” Moira spoke up. She and Walter had remained quiet while Thea had assaulted him. 

Oliver also had noticed that Lance was staying back. He was certain that he was there for a statement, but he’d made sure that the hospital requested him. Eventually, Laurel and Dinah Lance would need to know…but right now…he could see Sara. It wouldn’t be such a shock. 

“Officer Lance.”

Oliver looked to the side to see that Diggle was motioning for Lance to move past the Queens and to where he was. He knew that he could trust Diggle to make Lance understand their story and Oliver was sure that Lance would be thrilled that Sara was there. She couldn’t just disappear, well she could…but Oliver didn’t think that she would. There’d been too much press with them arriving back in Starling City. He was actually surprised that Lance hadn’t been there when they got to the hospital.

“On the news, they said that there was a group of you,” Walter said. “Who was taken with you? I kept expecting a ransom of some kind…”

“The man who took me… He took Mr. Diggle and Ms. Smoak, too. We were together at the time.”

“On the news, it looked like there was someone hurt…I thought there were four people?” Thea pushed.

“Oliver?” Moira questioned.

Oliver pulled in breath and looked around. “You know. Let’s move down the hall and into one of the empty rooms, so that we can talk in private.” Everyone would know about Sara soon enough, but he didn’t want to be shouting it out there in the open. It was more delicate. 

It took them a few minutes, but they moved into an empty room and he had his mother and Thea sit down. “The man who took us…he—“

“Did he hurt you?” Moira asked quickly, her voice breaking for a moment.

He looked at her and couldn’t bring himself to lie completely to her. “Yes, but I’m okay. A doctor has already looked me over. I’ve been through worse.”

“That’s not very comforting…”

Oliver just nodded. “He took us to Lian Yu.”

“The island you were on all those years?” Walter asked.

He was sure that it sounded worse to them. They didn’t know that he’d voluntarily gone there after Tommy’s death. For him, if it had only been him, it wouldn’t have been so bad. “Yes,” he responded quietly and evenly. “Felicity was injured…we’d been able to find a few very basic medical supplies that had been left there when I was there last.” He paused and studied them. “Mr. Diggle was in the army…he has experience in hostile environments and he also has field medical training. Felicity’s leg was badly cut open, Diggle was able to close it up…but eventually it became infected and she contracted blood poisoning.”

“But she’s okay, isn’t she?” Walter asked with deep concern.

Oliver nodded. “She’s going to be.” He was quiet for a moment. “But that’s not everything… We found someone on Lian Yu. Someone I thought was dead.”

“Who?” Moira prompted.

“Sara Lance. She’s alive. She helped us get off of that island…”

“Sara?”

He watched them all and as expected, his mother and Thea took it with the most impact. After all, Walter hadn’t really known Sara or had any kind of connection to her. He had seen the effect of her death had had on the Lance family, though, especially when it came to her father.

“Yes,” Oliver said quietly. “Sara…”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Oliver knew that his mother didn’t understand why he felt the need to stay at the hospital, but he had to. He needed to make sure that things with Felicity were at least where they needed to be. The last he’d talked with the doctors, they were still trying to battle the infection. It wasn’t only that, Oliver had asked them to consult on the actual injured area. Diggle was great for sewing her up, but if there was any need for the doctors to reopen it…then that’s what needed to be done. Oliver had also voiced that if they could repair it, so that there wasn’t a nasty scar, then they were to do it. Money didn’t matter when it came to her recovery. 

“You know, it’s going to look weird—“

“I don’t care.”

“Sara left.”

“That’s different,” Oliver argued. He was quiet for a moment. His gaze didn’t leave Felicity, though, who was fast asleep. At least he knew for sure that she was resting comfortably and in the best hands. “She and her father deserve this time… Mrs. Lance and Laurel…they deserve to have her back too…”

“Your family—“

“I’m alive,” Oliver said. “We’re Felicity’s family.”

“She has to have other family out there,” Diggle argued. “Maybe we should be calling someone.”

“Have you noticed that she never talks about her family?”

“She’s usually concentrating on what needs to be done…or you…since watching you is sort of her job,” Diggle told him.

“But we know all about your brother—“

“That’s different,” Diggle told him. “That had to do with Arrow business…”

“We all know about Carly and—“

“So, I talk about them… You guys have met Carly,” Diggle pointed out.

“But that’s what I’m saying… There’s been some time for it to come up,” Oliver said. “There’s been nothing with Felicity. She doesn’t want us to know. So, I figure there must be an awkward relationship.”

“You said you did your homework on us, you should know at least something about her background.”

“Her mother raised her, there really wasn’t anything about her father,” Oliver said.

“Maybe we should try to call her.”

“We don’t know anything about her.”

“What if Felicity’s allergic to something?”

Oliver looked over at Diggle. “It’s not in her QC file.”

“Not everything in our lives are in those QC files.”

“I wouldn’t just go calling your family members if you hadn’t talked about them—“

“You call anyone about me and I’m going to unfriend both of you…”

Her voice was weak, but it made Oliver smile. Felicity’s eyes started to open and she looked at them both before letting out a low moan. She seemed worse, but he knew that she was better. Oliver was just happy to see her awake and to know that she seemed to be doing just fine given her reply.

“How are you feeling?” Oliver asked.

“I hurt…”

“I think that’s to be expected.”

“They must have dialed back the pain medication,” Diggle said. “I’ll go talk to a nurse about it…” 

Oliver looked over his shoulder and watched Diggle go before turning his attention back to her. “We were just worried about you…”

“I’m going to be fine…” she told him sleepily.

“I know,” he said. “But I wanted to make sure that you were okay once we were here…”

Felicity smiled up at him. “Go home…be with your family…”

“I’m with my family right now,” he responded and smiled back at her.

“I’m sure your mother and Thea were worried…”

“Even Walter was here,” Oliver told her.

“Awww…I missed Walter,” Felicity said. She sounded a little disappointed. Walter was really how Felicity had gotten mixed up in everything in the first place. He’d had her follow some of his mother’s assets and such in the company. 

Oliver smirked. “I can ask him to come by and visit… You were asleep when he was here.”

“No, no…”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call someone?” Oliver asked. He’d noticed that Diggle had walked back in. “Or can we get you something?”

“Can I convince you to take me home?”

“Not happening,” Oliver and Diggle said together.

“The nurse is going to come in to check on your pain level in a minute,” Diggle said. 

Oliver noticed that Diggle was making himself comfortable. He really wanted to stay, but he knew that he really should head home, but at the same time…he should check on Sara. There just seemed like there were so many places he could be; yet there was only one of him.

“Go home to Thea,” Felicity told him.

He noticed that she seemed so sleepy and he’d noticed the pain in her voice. He just hoped that she was getting rest because she was healing and because she felt comfortable in that environment. “Maybe I’ll just wait a little longer…”

“Don’t worry, Man,” Diggle spoke up. “I’m going to stay right here… I don’t have anyone to go home to…”

“What about Lyla?”

“Not in town,” Diggle said. “But you have a family waiting for you…”

Oliver frowned. He just really didn’t want to leave them. The fact that he’d nearly lost Felicity was still very fresh in his mind. He balled his hands up into fists and tried to tell himself to relax. He knew that Felicity was safe and he knew that Diggle would be there looking out for her. He’d make sure that they were doing everything they were supposed to be doing and that she got her pain medication. 

Maybe he just wasn’t ready to be back… It was so much different being back. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be home, he did…but there was so much he was still processing everything that happened. It still wasn’t quite real to him that Felicity was alive and would be safe. That had been the most stressful part. She was the most innocent person on that island and she wasn’t even given a proper fighting chance when they were put on Lian Yu… Everything she said… It still haunted him. It wasn’t just what she’d said about being a burden or leaving her…it was that she’d heard a voice…and he still wondered if it was Shado.

Was that incredibly weird?

Yes.

How would Felicity know what Shado looked like or sounded like? How could that even be part of her hallucination or dream? It wasn’t possible, but he couldn’t shake it… Maybe it was because Shado had haunted him on the island… 

He just needed time.

“Oliver?”

“Yeah?” he said finally. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m just…thinking…”

“You should leave that to us,” Felicity mumbled.

He grinned and looked over at her. “I know,” he said. Oliver sighed and knew that they were right. He needed to go home. He needed to see his mother and Thea. He needed to get some sleep and he really could use a shower in which he could really soak and get everything island out of his pores. Oliver moved to Felicity’s side and leaned over her. He pressed a long kiss to her forehead before straightening up. “I’ll be calling to check on you…”

“We don’t have cell phones,” Felicity reminded.

She really was the brains of the operation. “Right,” Oliver said finally. “I’ll be stopping by the cell phone store first.”

“You might want to think about adding a line if Sara’s staying in town,” Diggle suggested. 

“I thought of that,” Oliver said. “I’ll make sure I have the numbers I need for the hospital while I’m out though…and get the phones brought over by courier…or Thea and Roy.”

“Same thing.”

Oliver smiled at him. “You sure you’re going to be fine?”

“I promise not to be mean to him and to let him watch anything he wants,” Felicity said as she raised her hand slightly. Oliver watched her for a moment as her eyes started to slip shut again. He was thankful to know that even if she was in pain, it wasn’t as much as he worried. 

“She’s going to be fine,” Diggle said quietly. “And the nurses have already told me that anything I want that they’ll make sure we have it. They’ve already taken food orders for me and I made sure that Felicity would have something that she’d feel like eating.”

“Always on top of it,” Oliver said. He was quiet and he looked down. There was something that he had to say that he knew that he should have said a while ago. Something that should have been said before the island. He was serious when he looked back up at Diggle. “John, thank you…for everything.”

“Sure, Oliver,” Diggle replied and he could see that he seemed a little confused.

“I mean it,” Oliver said. “No matter how emotional or out of it I got, you were always calm and knew what needed to be done with Felicity… She would have died if you hadn’t been there.”

Diggle reached out and patted his shoulder. “We did it together. We’re a team.”

“Still—“

“You’re welcome,” Diggle said. “If that’s what I need to say to get you to leave.”

Oliver nodded. “I just wanted you to know that I appreciated everything—“

“I know,” he said. “I think we both already know that we’re not exactly the ones who discuss our feelings…unless it’s me needing to give you a reality check…or you’re afraid you’re losing it…” He motioned to Felicity. “We know she’s the heart… She’s the emotional one…” Diggle said and his tone was gentle and didn’t make it sound like a bad thing because it wasn’t.

“She really is.”

“Go home,” Diggle whispered.

“I am,” Oliver said. He still hated leaving them though. He also knew that he needed to check on Sara before he left the hospital. He sighed and turned towards the door, he noticed that Walter was standing outside looking in. He moved towards the door and exited. “You can go in if you wanted.” Oliver looked back and stared through the window in the door. Felicity looked so small from out there in the hall. 

“I just figured I’d look in on her,” Walter spoke up. “I was waiting for you, actually. I promised your mother and Thea that I’d make sure you got home.”

“I have to check on Sara before I leave…and make a stop on my way home.”

“As long as it doesn’t take long.”

“I won’t.”

“The doctor said that she’s going to be okay,” Walter said. “I see you already told them to make sure that they did everything that could possibly be needed for her.”

“She’s my friend.”

“Is that all?”

Oliver met Walter’s gaze. “She’s family. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	11. Changing of the Guard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to serenitymeimei for pre-reading!

She was fairly sure that she’d met her quota for hospitals and medical care…for her whole life. Felicity didn’t feel like she needed so much as a flu shot in her future. She’d been in a hospital long enough, between Starling City and the one she’d stayed in while they were in China. She was just done. For the most part, she’d seen the most of Diggle during her stay at Starling General. She was fairly sure that it probably helped that Lyla was out of town. 

“You know you don’t have to stay here…”

“You know,” Diggle said. “You can stop trying to get rid of me.”

Felicity beamed at him. 

“It hurts my feelings,” he teased.

She held out an extra jell-o cup. “Here…this will make it better.”

Diggle laughed and accepted it. 

“I’m going to be so happy when I’m discharged… This real food…isn’t really real food,” Felicity told him. “I’ve lost probably ten pounds between the hospital food and the island…let’s be honest, it was probably mainly due to the hospital food…not that I’m complaining…but I hadn’t planned on losing so much weight—“

“So, I’m taking you to Big Belly Burger once the doctor gives you your papers?” Diggle questions.

She smiled at him. “Yes, please!”

Diggle laughed. “So, you should be very pleased to know that I’m pretty sure they’re going to release you before dinner.”

“Oliver’s supposed to stop by,” Felicity said sadly. Her smile had dropped and as much as she wanted to go home…this was going to be the first time she’d seen Oliver in days. Ever since they’d gotten back, he’d been bombarded with his family, Queen Consolidated, and the Lance family. She understood most of it…plus, he’d been trying to spend some time at the Foundry. She hadn’t asked Diggle if he’d been going out, she was sort of nervous to know. 

“Well, then he’ll come to dinner with us,” Diggle said matter of factly. “I’ll text him and let him know he has plans.”

“John—“

“Felicity, he’s our friend… He’s been slacking lately… He can show up and eat a burger with us,” Diggle said. “And fries and a shake…because we’re ordering the whole set… We were on an island…”

She broke out into a bright smile again. “You make it sound like we were there for five years…”

“Sometimes it feels like it…”

Felicity knew how he felt. She felt like she was having to be healed from wounds sustained for that long. She still had no idea how Oliver had done it all those years… The hospital had combated the infection and had not only sewn her leg up again, but a plastic surgeon had done it, so the scarring would be minimal. As much as she’d told herself that she wouldn’t care about the scar…she sort of was happy about the fact that it wouldn’t be so noticeable. 

“I’m in full agreement with that plan. Burger, fries, and a shake…I’m holding you to that,” Felicity told him seriously. “No matter what the doctor says.”

Diggle laughed. “I highly doubt that the doctor is going to forbid you from enjoying food…”

“You never know…”

He laughed again. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“He’s probably just running late or something.”

“He was supposed to meet us here almost an hour ago,” Diggle told her. 

“Lucky we haven’t been waiting down here that long,” Felicity replied. She looked around and tried to ignore the look that Diggle was giving her. She knew that Oliver had seemed really flakey since they’d gotten back from Lian Yu (again), but she was sure that there was a reason…or reasons… There had to be. They’d been waiting in the hospital lobby for only fifteen minutes, but as each minute had ticked by…she swore that Diggle was getting more and more pissed.

“Why is it that you keep defending him?”

“Force of habit?” she offered.

He grinned suddenly.

Felicity smiled back.

“He’s way too lucky to have us.”

“We might need to remind him of just how lucky he is,” Felicity commented.

Diggle wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer to him. “He’s going to miss out…”

“I could text him.”

“He’s not here, Felicity. He should have been here an hour ago. Are you going to give me reasons why he’s probably not here?”

“Do you want them in order of most likely or most lame?” she asked all too seriously. She’d been sitting there and as every minute had passed, she’d thought up a new possible excuse for Oliver to not have shown up. Some of them were perfectly reasonable and possible, actually MOST of them were, but some were just…odd and silly and…impossible.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“You know…normally I would find this really odd.”

Felicity and Diggle looked up from her bed. She’d become far too used to having someone right there with her. Diggle had been staying with her and so she hadn’t felt weird in the two of them lying in her bed together while they watched their movie. Plus, they were friends; it wasn’t like anything was going on.

“Where have you been?” Diggle asked and he wasn’t in a very good mood. He was glaring at Oliver and was sitting up and seeming like he was going to get up from the bed. Felicity wondered if this was going to turn into something physical. They really didn’t need to get to that point.

Felicity paused the movie and moved to a sitting position. She had been doing what the doctors had instructed. She’d already been on her leg for as long as she really was supposed to be and was trying to be good and stay in bed unless something started. “We waited for you yesterday,” she said quietly.

Oliver bowed his head. He was in his full suit and tie and Felicity wondered if he’d been at QC. She understood him needing to jump back into things, but a simple phone call or text would have been nice. “I knew that Diggle would make sure everything was taken care of with you, Felicity. I had already taken care of talking to the hospital to make sure everything that needed to be done was done.” He was quiet. “I didn’t mean to disappear.” He looked back up at them. “QC is barely hanging on…and my mom and Walter…they thought that if I jumped right back in that maybe we could keep it from falling to Stellmoor.”

Stellmoor meant Isabel. 

Not even a year before, she and Diggle had gone to Lian Yu to bring him back. Part of it was because it was the only way to communicate with him, part of it was because of them needing the vigilante back, and part of it was because of QC. All of it had to do with them missing their friend. 

“You know we’re here,” Felicity spoke up. “I could have helped you from the hospital.” In truth, it would have been a welcomed distraction. All she needed was a tablet and wifi. 

“Please don’t let him off the hook so easily,” Diggle begged her.

“He’s right,” Oliver said. “You shouldn’t.”

Felicity watched him. He seemed apologetic and he looked exhausted. “But we need to keep our secret identities.”

“I’m sure he’s been over at the Lance house,” Diggle brought up.

Oliver seemed even more frustrated and irritated now. “Can I have a minute with Felicity?”

She reached out and covered Diggle’s hand with hers. “I could use some more water, John,” she said quietly. Felicity was sure that he was trying to just be protective, but she hated to see the both of them fighting. She especially didn’t like that it was over her. Diggle didn’t seem too thrilled with her asking that, but he left the room just the same. 

They waited to speak until Diggle was out of the room and the door was shut between them. “He’s pissed,” Felicity spoke up first.

“I…noticed that,” Oliver responded. “I can’t blame him though.”

“You made time for the Lances, but not for us…not for me,” she said quietly. Did it hurt? Yes. Did she understand? She wasn’t sure. She didn’t know how much time he’d spent over there. She’d thought he’d be there everyday, but that hadn’t ended up happening. He’d just fallen off the map with them. 

“I know,” he said. “I didn’t mean to… I kept telling myself I was going to go to the hospital to see you…and then something would happen. I would have extra work to have finished before I left the office, Isabel would start on one of her rants, there’d be a board meeting that went too late, or…there’d be something else. I kept telling myself ‘tomorrow’ and then the same thing would happen.” He paused. “It’s not good enough though.”

“I still forgive you,” she told him.

“I think Diggle would appreciate that.”

“He’s just upset that you disappeared… We were all on that island,” Felicity reminded him. “It wasn’t just me. I know I was the one that got hurt…and maybe, almost died…” She was quiet as she stared at him. “He went through a lot. You all went through a lot.

“We all did,” he agreed.

“He won’t tell me about everything,” Felicity brought up. “I’ll ask questions and he’ll tell me that it’s better that I don’t remember.”

“He’s right.”

“The four of us need to sit down and check in,” Felicity said. “Either that or we need to go to like a shrink or something…”

“Are you trying to coordinate family counseling?” 

“I’d rather talk to you…or John…or even Sara about stuff… You should know that…” Felicity told him. “John’s sort of been trapped with me this whole time. At the very least I think he needs to get out and punch something… It probably wouldn’t be horrible if Lyla was back in town either…” 

“Why don’t you spend a couple of days with me? I’d stay here and sleep on your couch, but my mother’s been on me about being home and having enough sleep. I don’t think she’s ever been so concerned. Thea’s even home every night. It even seems like Walter and my mom might be reconnecting, so Thea’s been really on been trying to make sure that everything’s perfect so as to not disrupt the good thing that seems to be going on.”

“You know I’m not exactly comfortable being in the Queen Mansion,” Felicity reminded. She could understand why he had disappeared though. Oliver had a family and a life and a company. She had work and Team Arrow…and the family that went with it. That was her life. But she understood why Diggle was so upset at the same time. He’d dropped the ball. 

“So, we’ll figure something out…but then at least I could spend more time with you without Thea or my mom calling the police to report me missing because I’m not home for dinner.”

He made it sound like he was twelve and out past the streetlights coming on. This was the second time that he’d been missing (and possibly presumed dead), so she really couldn’t blame his family for wanting to keep him close and safe. “Okay,” she finally agreed. “Does this mean that I can come into work?” she asked hopefully and knew that Diggle wouldn’t appreciate that. She would, though.

“Do you have doctor’s clearance?”

She frowned. 

“Felicity, you went through a lot on that island… You need some time…outside of a hospital.”

There was a knock on the door before it was opened and Diggle returned with a glass of water. “Was I gone long enough?” He sat on the edge of Felicity’s bed once again.

“Yes,” she told him and he looked right at her. She could tell that he was concerned. As much as she knew that Diggle with pissed with Oliver’s disappearing act, she was fairly sure that he was more worried of her feelings in all of it. Diggle was always the more emotional observant one out of her two guys. “And you’re going to get some time away from me.”

“The doctor said that you wouldn’t be one hundred—“

“I’m going to go with Oliver,” Felicity told him. “I’m sure you’re sick of babysitting me any—“

“I’m fine,” Diggle said. “We have more DVDs to watch…Netflix binging…” 

He had been extremely sweet as far as entertaining her and what he was willing to sit through and actually watch. He wasn’t one of those people who fell asleep or zoned out and then pretended to watch. Of course, he’d poke holes in some of the plot lines, but she didn’t mind that. 

“John, you’ve been at my side for way too long… You deserve a break,” Felicity said as gently as possible. “Don’t think that I don’t appreciate it…I do…immensely. I don’t know of a proper way to thank you for all you’ve—“

“You don’t need to.”

“So, let yourself have this time,” she offered. “I promise to call you if Oliver leaves me somewhere or forgets to feed me,” she teased lightly. Diggle gave her a slight smirk. “Plus, one of us has to watch him… I promise not to have as much fun as we’ve had…”

“Yeah, Oliver won’t sit here and watch ‘Dance Moms’ with you,” Diggle said as he got up from the bed. 

“Definitely not,” Oliver replied and he looked a bit disgusted.

Diggle chuckled. “I’ll show you where the doctor’s orders and information is…and the pills…and the PT pages…” 

Felicity hoped that Diggle’s response showed that he was really okay with things. He’d obviously done the really hard part, but he needed a break. She really wasn’t going to mind being able to spend time with Oliver, if she really was going to be able to.

He stopped at the bedroom door, the notebook with everything in it was kept in the other room, he looked back at her. Felicity wasn’t sure how he really was feeling. “You call me for ANYthing,” Diggle told her. 

“I know,” she said with a small smile. “I promise.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“Oliver?”

“I’ve brought along a house guest,” Oliver called. 

Moira Queen stopped in her tracks the moment she saw her. Felicity looked to the ground. She really wasn’t sure how thrilled Oliver’s mother would be with bringing ‘the help’ over to spend the night…or nights. “I see,” Moira said and Felicity could hear the clack of her heels as she finally continued to approach them. “I was under the impression that Mr. Diggle was seeing to Ms. Smoak’s recovery?”

“He needed a break,” Oliver filled in. “Plus, she needed to get out of her apartment.”

“If it’s a problem, I—“ Felicity lifted her head as she spoke and then was cut off quickly.

“Of course, it’s not a problem!” 

She was fairly sure that Walter Steele was a hero in his own rite. He’d just taken the weight that had formed on her chest off of it. She was glad that Oliver had said something about Walter and Moira or else this would have been a really confusing and awkward moment for her. 

“Is it, Moira?” Walter asked as he got to Mrs. Queen’s side. He looked quite happy to see her, which made Felicity smile a little.

“Of course not,” Moira replied. “I just wasn’t…prepared.”

“I really don’t want to intrude—“

“No, no… I wouldn’t hear of it,” Walter told Felicity. He stepped forward and took one of the bags from Oliver. 

“Careful,” Felicity and Oliver said at the same time. She smiled at Oliver.

“It has her computer and tablet…and gadgety stuff…” Oliver filled in.

“Got it. Breakable,” Walter said and held it to his chest. “It will be safe with me. I assure you.”

“Of course,” Felicity said. “Thank you.”

“Why don’t Oliver and I get these upstairs…will you be able to make it?” Walter asked.

“There are rooms downstairs,” Moira spoke up. “That would probably be more convienant for Ms. Smoak.”

“She’ll manage,” Oliver said and Felicity didn’t miss the look he shot at his mother.

“No reason for her to be downstairs by herself,” Walter replied. “Thea and Roy are already in the other room. Moira, why don’t you let them know that we have one extra for dinner?”

“Two,” Moira corrected. “Sara came by an hour ago looking for you, Oliver. I told her to come back for dinner. I hope this isn’t a problem?”

“Of course not,” Oliver replied. “It’ll be good…”

“I haven’t seen her in a while,” Felicity chimed in with a smile. She was going to be absolutely terrified if Walter and Oliver left her alone with Mrs. Queen though. They started to leave her and were halfway up the stairs when she started to internally panic when there was a knock at the door behind her. Felicity turned on her crutches as Moira passed her. Felicity was sure that this was one of the very few times that Moira Queen actually answered her own front door.

“Sara,” Moira greeted. “It’s so good to see you!” There was an exchange of hugging and it was obvious to Felicity that Moira very much liked Sara. Sara was a Lance and Felicity was sure that Moira would rather see her son was the woman he cheated on Laurel with rather than his assistant. “Oliver just arrived a few minutes…with…Ms. Smoak…” Moira moved to the side to allow Sara in and Felicity didn’t miss the distain in her voice when she said her name. “Apparently, she’s staying with us for a while…”

“Only a few days,” Felicity spoke up.

“Felicity!” Sara said enthusiastically. She came right in and hugged her and was careful not to knock her over. Felicity smiled at her. Sara returned in and Felicity could tell that she was trying to rescue her from her current situation. “It’s been so long… I’ve been far too busy with being alive… I’m glad that you’re here for dinner…”

“I’m glad you are too,” she said in a conspiratorial whisper as she leaned towards Sara.

Sara beamed at her in response. “Why don’t I help you? Where’s Ollie?”

“Putting my bags upstairs with Walter,” Felicity supplied. 

“Thea and Roy are in the other room though,” Moira said as she motioned.

Sara was nice enough to help her along and Oliver was there moments later. They ended up sequestering themselves to a corner in the other room while Moira and Walter talked with Thea and Roy. 

“How are you feeling?” Sara asked.

“Bored mainly,” Felicity responded frankly. She looked between them. She wondered if something more had been going on between them during Oliver’s ‘disappearance’. “I’m not interrupting something, am I? Because I really don’t—“

“No,” Sara said quickly. “I was just happy to see you here. It means that Ollie and I can hopefully avoid his mother’s failed attempts at making us a couple.”

“I tried to talk to her earlier about it,” Oliver said. He paused and looked between them. “She was not…pleased…with my discussion with her.”

“She rarely is,” Sara said quietly. 

“We probably shouldn’t…socialize for so long amongst ourselves,” Felicity said as she peeked over at the others. She felt a little rude that they were off by themselves.

“Oh, they’ll be plenty of socializing at dinner,” Oliver told her. “Pace yourself…”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	12. Awkward Family Dinners

Family dinner was not something he was thrilled about. Oliver felt like it helped that not only were Sara and Felicity there, but so were both Roy and Thea. Of course Walter helped to keep his mother in line. So, Oliver really did appreciate them all. And then his mother opened her mouth…

“Ms. Smoak,” Moira spoke up. “I assume that you’ll be excited to go back to the IT department at Queen Consolidated once you’re cleared to go back to work.”

Felicity looked so confused and like a deer in the headlights as heads turned towards her. Oliver knew that this was not going to end well. He obviously hadn’t been prepared for what he’d gotten himself into. His mother had shown quite a bit dissatisfaction during their last conversation. She’d tried to push for a long-term relationship with Sara. He and Sara had a past and after the last trip to the island, Oliver knew that she just wasn’t in his future in that way. He still wanted to be friends with her and he didn’t mind if she joined Team Arrow, but that was it.

“I—I…” Felicity blurted out and started to look towards him.

He reached out and set his hand on her thigh as he looked right at her. “My mother and Isabel are trying to push a new assistant on me,” he explained evenly. “I didn’t say anything because that’s not going to happen.”

“If you need the extra help,” Felicity told him quietly.

“I still believe that there are people that they refer to as temps,” Walter spoke up. “Why not go that route?”

“You know how things are at the company, Walter,” Moira argued. “It would be much more sensible to promote from inside of the company.”

“I really am okay,” Felicity said. “I just can’t be on my leg for very long just yet… I can still answer the phones and coordinate things from my desk.”

He could tell that this was upsetting Felicity and he hadn’t meant for that. Not having Felicity at the office with him was one of the reasons that he hadn’t been around at the hospital. He’d been working overtime and he’d been pushing to try to do things on his own. It wasn’t easy. Felicity made things look so easy, but really…she ran Queen Consolidated in a big form for him. He hadn’t realized it until he was left there without her. He’d been leaning on Walter, but Walter still had his responsibilities to Starling National Bank.

“You know—“ Oliver started, but was quickly cut off.

“Thea, what was it you were talking about Verdant before?” Sara spoke up. 

Oliver looked over to Sara, who just smiled in response, as she seemed to be listening to what Thea was now say. Thea was going on about Verdant, while Roy piped up here and there. Oliver really wasn’t interested in the conversation at hand; just that Felicity seemed to be at ease now that his mother wasn’t threatening her job. He realized now that this wasn’t the best idea on his part. He’d put Felicity in the line of fire as far as being kidnapped by Slade and now he’d done the same with his mother after their conversation earlier. 

“How is Mr. Diggle?” 

He snapped out of it in time to answer before Felicity could. “He’s good. He was kind enough to stay and help Felicity with her recovery. We figured that he could really use some time off though.”

“He really hasn’t had any time since coming back from Lian Yu,” Sara said as a statement more than anything else.

“Speaking of Lian Yu, when are we going to really hear about what’s gone on there?” Moira pushed. 

Oliver, Felicity, and Sara exchanged looks. He was fairly sure that they were all on the same page still. At least he hoped so. “I’ve told you, Mom.”

“You’ve been vague.”

“It’s not exactly a vacation spot,” Felicity spoke up.

“It really isn’t,” Sara agreed. 

“I just don’t understand… Weren’t you on that island for five years, Oliver? And in that time, you never saw Sara? Wasn’t she trapped there this whole time too?” Moira continued to push.

Busted.

Oliver was not amused by his mother at all tonight. She was pushing and testing limits. Family dinner was really not the time or place for it as far as he was concerned. He really didn’t look forward to having a talk with her in regards to it after his talk earlier, but it might just be necessary.

“The island is…really…big,” Felicity spoke up, speaking slowly. “And jungle-y. It looks small, I’m sure…say, if you were up in a plane looking downward, but it’s much…much bigger when you’re actually on the island.”

“Exactly what she said,” Oliver said with a huge smile as he motioned to Felicity. 

“I just find it hard to believe—“ 

Walter interrupted Moira before she could continue again. “I think that they’ve been through enough on that island, Moira. I don’t think it’s really necessary to push them for details. If they need to or want to speak to you about their experiences on that dreaded island, I’m sure they will.”

“I promise,” Oliver said gently with a nod towards his mother. He was extremely grateful for Walter right then. Roy and Thea just looked like they were trying not to get in the middle of whatever was going on. His mother had a motive behind all of these conversations AND inviting Sara to dinner. He knew it and he didn’t like it. He didn’t like being toyed with and he especially didn’t like when it was done to those who were closest to him.

“Fine,” Moira finally responded.

Dinner remained quiet with just some small talk here and there from Walter or Thea. It was incredibly awkward and uncomfortable and he felt like he was going to have to apologize to most of the people there once it was over. 

“Sara, can I ask you a question?” Moira asked. She looked directly at him. “As long as it’s not about that island?”

Oliver just stared back at her before her gaze turned back to Sara. He knew that this seemed innocent enough, but his mother couldn’t be underestimated especially when it came to social situations like this. She was the queen of getting information and in planting seeds of what she wanted to spread. It just wasn’t a good thing. It wasn’t good for any of them.

“Sure,” Sara said cheerily.

Oliver wished he could telepathically apologize to Sara now. Unfortunately, he didn’t have an ability like that. Of course if he did, he’d be more likely channeling it to get his mother to stop doing whatever she was doing. 

“I know you haven’t been back long, but so much has had to have changed for you,” Moira said. “I’m sure it’s interesting to see how people you knew before have changed.”

“Yes,” Sara replied.

“Like Oliver.”

“In good ways, as far as I’ve seen.”

“But how do you feel about his relationship with his assistant?”

There it was.

Oliver covered his face with his hand. He wanted to scream, but he was fairly sure that that was only going to cause more problems. He really didn’t want that. They didn’t need that. They needed his mother to mind her own business and to stop pushing them.

He didn’t miss the echoes of people coughing on their beverage or meal. Oliver could see that Felicity was now looking downward and seemed to look as if she wanted to shrink away. As much as he wanted to stand up and say something, he didn’t want to make Felicity feel worse than how his mother was making her feel right now. His hands dropped at Sara’s response.

“I love Felicity,” Sara responded. “She’s probably the nicest and most honest person that I’ve met since coming back, well…of course I met her on the island first.”

“I think that that’s probably enough, Mom,” Thea spoke up.

Oliver looked over to his sister and gave her a look of thanks. She seemed to understand. 

“Really, Thea—“

“She’s right, Moira. I think you’ve said enough tonight,” Walter spoke up and agreed.

Oliver was sure that the only reason that Walter was able to rein in his mother was because she was hopeful of them getting back together. Their relationship was delicate at the moment, but he didn’t mind taking advantage of that. 

“I should probably go anyways,” Sara spoke up. “Dinner was great, Mrs. Queen. Thank you for inviting me. Mr. Steele. Thea…Roy.” She looked across the table. “Oliver, do you think you and Felicity could see me to the door?”

“Of course!” Felicity practically screamed and was on her feet quicker than normal. She had the crutches under her arms and was heading away from the table before Oliver could even get to his feet.

He waited until they were out of the room before he turned towards his mother. “I really didn’t feel like any of that was necessary…”

“And that’s our cue,” Thea said to Roy as they got up as well.

“Thea, wait…” Moira begged.

“This is about to turn into a huge family discussion and Roy and I should really get back to Verdant anyways,” Thea excused.

He waited for Thea and Roy and then followed them towards the door. He half hugged his sister as they approached the front door. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“You owe me,” she whispered back.

Oliver grinned. He didn’t mind. He pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “Drive safely Speedy…Roy,” he said and shook Roy’s hand before they were out the door. He turned his attention to Sara…and…he realized that Felicity wasn’t there. His smile dropped immediately. “Where—“

“She’s outside,” Sara said. She obviously knew what he was going to ask. How could she not after everything that had just happened? 

“I should—“

Sara caught his arm. “Ollie, maybe I should take her home with me.”

“Aren’t you staying at your dad’s?”

“Yeah,” she responded and then shrugged. “I doubt that he’d mind. He seems to like her…care about her… It’s a bit too small, but it’s better than being here…”

“Did she say she wanted to go?”

“I didn’t ask,” Sara replied. 

Oliver studied her. “You and I really haven’t talked since being back.”

“That’s because our mothers have been too busy being matchmakers and my parents have been too busy trying to get you to get Laurel from going off the rails on me,” Sara told him. She shrugged. “Is there really a lot that we need to talk about?”

“Isn’t there?”

“I’ll tell you what,” she said quietly. “You text me…a time and a day…we all bring beer and food…and we meet at the Foundry and just get stuff out.”

It really wasn’t a horrible plan and he had a feeling that Diggle might need it too. “Okay,” he said with a nod.

“Go on and check on her,” Sara said as she motioned towards the door with her head. “I’m going to use the restroom before I leave… You can tell me what’s going to happen then…”

“Okay. Thanks,” he said. Oliver took a deep breath and then turned towards the door. He opened it and closed it behind him. He walked down the steps and felt even more horrible than before. She really shouldn’t be on her leg so much. He spotted her a little ways away from the house. Oliver made his way over and could tell that she was crying. His Felicity was crying her eyes out. His heart felt like it was twisting. When she spotted him, she seemed to be trying to wipe the tears away. 

It was too late. He’d already seen them.

He was going to sit down next to her, but instead he crouched down in front of her. He pushed her hands away from her face. “Hi,” he whispered.

“Hi,” she replied, sniffling as she responded. She was still trying to push tears away from her face. 

“I didn’t know she was going to do that,” he said gently.

“She doesn’t like me, I get that,” Felicity told him. “I don’t have to stay. I already called Digg. He’s on his way over now.”

“Felicity…”

She shook her head. “No, it’s fine… This place,” she told him as she motioned to the mansion with her hand. “It sort of creeps me out in all kinds of ways anyway…”

“I don’t want you to go,” he said finally. 

“Oliver, your mother clearly doesn’t want me in her home. She has clear intentions and I’m not included in any of them, except maybe to fix computers.” Felicity sighed. “No wonder you never came to the hospital…”

Oliver closed his eyes and felt like he was suddenly stabbed by his words. “My mother—my mother has a plan for me, obviously…” he told her as he opened his eyes again. He took her hands in his. “She confronted me about expectations she has of me earlier today. I shot them down. She wasn’t happy. I didn’t think she’d act out like she did, especially with everyone who was present.”

“Expectations? You’ve been back at Queen Consolidated, running the company since you got back from Lian Yu…what else does she expect?” Felicity asked angrily. 

“She expects me to have a life outside of QC,” Oliver said. It was the best way he could think of saying it without spelling it out. 

“I’d like a life outside of QC sometimes, too, but that apparently just ends up with me on an island in the North China Sea,” Felicity rambled. “With me stuck in the actual sea…with my leg cut open…and with me almost dying…”

“I know,” he said as he closed his eyes again. He didn’t need a more vivid picture from her. Oliver stared at her. They hadn’t talked. Not at all about what had happened since they’d returned to Starling City. He knew it was needed, but right this minute didn’t seem appropriate. “And…and I have nightmares about that… I can handle being on that island, but watching you almost die… Digging the grave…” He stopped and he looked away. These demons had been haunting him since he’d come home. 

“Oliver, I—“

“The reason, I’m sure, why my mother was attacking you at dinner was because she finds you threatening,” Oliver tried to explain.

Felicity motioned to herself and practically blew up. “How am I threatening?” Her voice got quiet. “You and I know that Sara is far more threatening than I am…unless you need something hacked…then I’m your girl.”

He smiled at that and stared at her for a moment. “She’s pushing for me to form a relationship…one that will lead to a long-term relationship which will lead to marriage…and she’s hoping grandkids.”

“And she’s hoping it’s Sara.”

“Right.”

“Not sure how Laurel would feel if she knew that she was out of the running,” Felicity said and then stared at him. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said—“

“No, it’s fine…” Oliver told her. “Laurel and I are over. For good. There’s no going back. Sara and I aren’t going to happen, not how my mother wants. We’ll work together at night…be friends, but that’s it…” He was quiet. “My mother threw out that if I wasn’t interested in them, then whom was I interested in. She brought you up and…and I didn’t deny it…”

“Oliver—“

“She doesn’t understand how close we are because of everything,” he said. Oliver didn’t think that their connection and their closeness could really be explained. Well, maybe Diggle could explain it. Diggle had been there all along. Oliver was sure that he saw it. Of course, he’d missed it for most of the time he’d known Felicity… But Diggle was much better at social observation than he was. He could admit that.

The sound of a car pulling up to the house caught both of their attention. At first, Oliver thought it was Sara, but he’d caught sight of her right outside of the door. He was sure that she was waiting for word. The car was Diggle’s and Oliver was actually a little surprised at how quickly he’d gotten there. He didn’t know what Felicity had told him…but he was certain that Diggle hadn’t missed how upset she had been. 

“Please…don’t go, Felicity,” he begged. 

Oliver really couldn’t blame her for wanting to leave. He didn’t want to stay there. He just knew that his anger would blow up the moment that he stepped through those doors and saw his mother. She was out of line and she knew it. Oliver just didn’t know how to go back into the house and scold her without her flipping out right back on him. Walter’s presence was helpful, but no matter how good of a person Walter was…he wasn’t his dad. He knew that his father wouldn’t have ever let that dinner go past his mother’s first remarks. 

“Felicity…”

“I can’t stay,” she finally blurted out. 

Her face was tear-stained. Her mascara was running and she reminded him too much of the island…he hated to see the pain in her face. He didn’t care if it was physical or emotional. Felicity didn’t deserve it. Oliver’s hand brushed a tear away from her cheek. “I’m sorry, but I know…I know that’s not enough.”

It really wasn’t.

It never would be.

Not with Felicity.

“It’s okay,” she forgave as her head leaned into his hand for a moment as her eyes closed. 

It wasn’t okay.

“Digg wants to know if Felicity’s ready.”

Oliver sucked in a deep breath. “Her bags are inside…upstairs…” Oliver spoke up. He stared at Felicity, who was now looking right back at him. “Can you ask him to get them? And can we meet at the Foundry? The four of us?”

“Tonight?” Sara questioned.

“Can you really think of a better night?” Oliver asked as he turned to Sara.

“Digg looks pretty pissed,” Sara replied. “He might decide to knock you around…and I might just enjoy watching that…”

“He might not be the only one,” Oliver replied as he turned back to Felicity. He didn’t know how to make any of it up to her. He just had to try to be a better man. That was the only thing he could think of. He needed to show her that he could be better. 

She was far too good for everything he’d put her through.

Even if she’d chosen to go through it.

“You, me, Sara, Digg. The Foundry. Some beer. We can rant or vent or hit whoever we need to hit…get everything out,” Oliver put out there for her to respond to. He already knew that Sara was on board with it. He was fairly sure that Diggle would have no problem with it. 

“You might want to throw in pizza,” Felicity finally spoke up as she rubbed her face once again. She took off her glasses and Oliver felt even worse. He swore the glasses didn’t make the running make-up look so bad when they were in place. 

“I can do pizza.”

“Don’t be mad,” she started off. She looked like she was going to cry again. “I want Digg to drive me.”

Oliver took a second and then nodded. “Okay,” he responded as evenly as he could. “But you’re going to let me carry you to the car.”

“What about the crutches,” she said as she held onto them. 

“I’m pretty sure we can figure it out.”

Oliver scooped her up, careful of her leg, and had her grab the crutches. Diggle was walking out of the mansion as he approached the car. Diggle wanting to hit him was written all over his face. Oliver didn’t blame him. Sara had the passenger door open and Oliver carefully got Felicity into the seat while Sara stowed the crutches and Diggle took care of the bags. 

“Do you have a special pizza request?” he asked quietly as he crouched down in the space between the seat and the open door. Oliver held onto the car door and just hoped that Diggle was actually going to go to the Foundry. He still needed to talk to Felicity. He couldn’t leave it like this. He’d gone far too long without them. Without her. He’d messed up. She filled this empty hole in his life that he hadn’t realized was there until he was everywhere, but where he needed to be. With her.

“The normal.” She smiled a little and he returned it. He definitely caught the glare from Diggle.

“I’ll see you in a little bit,” he said quietly before closing the car door. Diggle was out of there faster than Oliver could turn and actually say something to Sara. 

He didn’t know if that night could get anymore screwed up.

He supposed that they were about to find out.

“You order the pizza…and I’ll pick up the beer,” Sara said.

“Okay.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Oliver didn’t know what time it was. He really didn’t care. They’d gotten past the whole ‘punch Oliver’ phase. It consisted of Oliver offering, Diggle hitting him, and then Felicity freaking out because he was going to have a black eye. Oliver knew that Diggle felt better though and he didn’t mind it. It was more that Felicity had been so upset. Sara had just been amused. 

They’d gone through one of the boxes of beer already and most of the pizza was gone. Diggle and Sara were laughing and exchanging ‘war stories’ while he sat with Felicity. She was sitting up in her computer chair, the other chair supporting her healing leg. Oliver sat on the floor, after all, it was the best spot. He got to look up at her and she was the most beautiful thing, even with the blotchy face from crying and the running mascara. 

“You know, there’s still time to punch me,” Oliver offered.

She laughed. “You’re not the one that I want to punch.”

He lifted his bottle. “I don’t blame you.”

“Does she really think that you’re going to turn into this cookie cutter son overnight?”

Oliver sat there and thought about it. “She’s never really understand that I’ll never be the man that my father was in her eyes.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure your father didn’t have a secret lair and play vigilante at night,” she teased.

He grinned. “Not really his style.”

She sipped on her beer and adjusted her glasses. “So, what are you going to do?”

“Do you mean, what are WE going to do?”

Felicity just shrugged in response.

Oliver drank the rest of the beer remaining in the bottle before setting it down next to him. “We’re going to rebuild. I’m going to learn to balance my time…a lot better. I’m going to try to remember how to be CEO of Queen Consolidated…and I expect to have my executive assistant that I can’t live without back at her desk once she’s allowed.”

She was beaming at him. “I’m pretty sure that it sounded like I was almost fired.”

“You’re not,” he assured. “You’ll never be fired.”

“Never?”

“Never.”

“And what about…here?” she asked as she motioned around with the bottle in her hand. 

“Felicity, I can’t do this without you…” Oliver was staring at her. Right now, she was really the only one in that Foundry. She was in all honesty, the only one in his world. He got up on his knees, moving closer to her. “I thought you understood that.”

“There was a time, you did all of this without me…”

“That wasn’t me,” he insisted.

And it wasn’t.

He’d come a long way since then.

“So, I get to keep both of my jobs?” Felicity asked.

“Yes.”

“You do realize, I haven’t used my vacation days… That ‘trip’ to Lian Yu was definitely not vacation time,” she told him and then laughed. 

He laughed too and then got deadly serious. “No…definitely not.” He knew that drinking wasn’t the best idea. It really had been an awful long time since he’d drank this much. It had seemed like a good idea at the time and no one really seemed to be complaining. He just wasn’t sure if he had the best judgment at the moment. 

All he knew was that he couldn’t have regrets.

“I thought I’d lost you,” he admitted quite soberly.

Felicity stared at him. “Oliver—“

“I’m serious,” he insisted. “I thought that you were gone. More than once. When we came back after we left you in the cave…and then when I went back for you… I thought that you were dead in that grave.”

Grave.

It really seemed like the cruelest and sickest joke as he thought back on it all.

It had been to protect her.

It didn’t seem to really be make a difference as he thought back on it.

“I didn’t want to die,” she admitted. “I wanted to stay…for you.”

Oliver stood up now. He held onto the back of her chair for support. “I wanted to die…if you died… I didn’t want to leave Lian Yu without you. Without you alive.” 

“I didn’t die.”

“I know.”

“You stayed away.”

“I won’t do that again.”

At that moment he knew that their conversation was more sobering than a cold shower and ten cups of coffee. He just stared at her. How had he been this blind all this time? How had he written off what had been there? How had he—

“Felicity…”

He leaned in, without giving it another thought. Oliver was kissing Felicity, his lips caressing hers. All he could think was: why hadn’t they done this sooner? Felicity was kissing him back and he didn’t want it to end. But it did. He finally pulled back, staring into her big blue eyes. 

He waited.

Silence blanketed them.

Oliver finally whispered, breaking the silence. “Say something…”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	13. You're Driving Me, Right?

A week had passed and Oliver hadn’t said anything about what had happened when they’d been drinking in the Foundry…and Oliver had kissed her. He’d said ‘say something…’ and she’d never replied. Not right away and not about the kiss. She’d been shocked, but that didn’t mean that she hadn’t liked it or that she didn’t want more. 

“Can I pick you up tomorrow? Did you still want to start back at QC? You don’t have to if it’s too much.”

Felicity turned in her chair to stare at him. She’d come back to work at the Foundry and it had been going smoothly for a week. Her physical therapy had been going well also, so they’d discussed her starting out slow going back to QC with two days a week and then to slowly work it up. She still couldn’t drive though. Diggle tended to drive her everywhere. It was pretty lame, but she knew that it wouldn’t be forever.

“Can we talk?”

“I thought Diggle’s waiting?”

“I told him I’d get a ride from you,” Felicity told him frankly. She was certain that Diggle knew that this was what was going to talk to Oliver the minute she told him that she needed to talk to Oliver because he hadn’t pushed. He’d simply said okay and left. 

Oliver looked a little shocked and for a moment seemed to be working out what to say. “Okay,” he said finally and pulled the other chair over. He took a seat and seemed to just wait.

“Last week—“

“It’s okay, Felicity… It was a mistake…”

“Was it?” she asked. She was certain that it wasn’t only her voice that betrayed her, letting him know exactly how disappointed that he’d regretted that kiss. “You wanted me to say something…and I couldn’t…I couldn’t think of what to say at that time… I needed to think… For the first time since I met you, I didn’t know what to say…”

“Felicity—“

“Do you regret it? Honestly? You can be honest with me. You know that,” she told him gently. She knew that this conversation could potentially hurt their relationship…or at least her heart, but it had to happen. She needed to know. They both needed to know where they stood.

“No,” Oliver told her quietly as he stared at her.

He wasn’t lying. 

“That night…it was…a lot…and the alcohol didn’t help my brain functions…” She sucked in a deep breath as she tried to collect her thoughts and command them to cooperate with her. She closed her eyes for a moment, it was the best way she knew to calm herself and be able to get out what she’d thought about saying earlier. Felicity knew that it was silly, it wasn’t like he’d asked her to marry her, but she’d really needed the week. She wanted to say something that would matter. She wanted to say something that would come out right…that wouldn’t be affected by their drunkenness. 

Felicity opened her eyes again. “I told you, when I was in that cave alone and that voice was talking to me…the only thing I knew was that I wanted to hold on. I couldn’t die. I couldn’t leave you. And you’ve known since…very early on in our partnership that I have feelings for you… Whether it be a crush or something more… My feelings have always been clear. I wasn’t on Lian Yu for five years, but I know that after being on that island and almost dying that I don’t want to regret not doing more in my life. I don’t want to regret not loving…or allowing myself to love the person that I can’t think of not seeing everyday…because I don’t feel like I’m good enough for him…”

“Felicity…”

“I love you, Oliver… I don’t regret that kiss… I just regret the mess that was the dinner before it,” Felicity told him. 

She didn’t know what to think about his face. He looked relieved and shocked at the same time. “I don’t know how to apologize enough about my mother,” Oliver told her. “But…before…I was afraid that I’d ruined things between us… You and I… We’ve had this special relationship going and the last thing I’d want to do is to ruin it…”

“The only way you’re going to do that is likely only if you force me to go to another family dinner like the last one or you won’t take me home,” Felicity told him honestly. “You know I love everyone…but your mom obviously doesn’t approve of me at all…”

“She just has to get to know you.”

“No, I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m inferior… She has someone picked out for you and I’m not that girl,” Felicity explained. She guessed that she could understand why Moira Queen preferred the Lance sisters, she knew them and they knew Oliver. The Lances were part of the Queen history in many ways. Felicity was an unknown and a stranger for the most part. 

“My life isn’t an easy one to live, Felicity, and you and Diggle probably realize that best,” Oliver explained to her. “You’ve both lived in both of my worlds. Diggle’s probably just seen more of the Queen Mansion and my family than you have.”

“I didn’t want to keep my thoughts for so long from you, but I just—“

Oliver pulled her chair closer. “Felicity Smoak, you are the most honest and true person I know. You’re right. I’ve known your feelings. I guess I was just nervous that maybe you didn’t feel the same way anymore… Maybe I took too long to realize my feelings for you… Or that you understood the risks being involved with me and you didn’t feel like—“

“I made my choice, Oliver,” she interrupted. “And I’m not going to change my mind now…” Felicity reached out and covered his hand with hers. “You let me in…at least…part way,” she said. She understood why he didn’t let her all the way in, though, at least not yet. Lian Yu had been hard to deal with for the short amount of time that had passed when they were there. Felicity had no idea how to handle or cope all that had happened to Oliver for all that time he’d been there. It would take time and continued trust and patience for him to tell her those secrets…to reveal the rest of the demons that hid in his heart. “I’m here…whenever you want to talk…about anything…you know I’ll keep it safe.”

“I know,” he whispered.

He leaned over and was pressing a kiss to her forehead. Oliver pulled back after the quick kiss. Felicity really hadn’t wanted it to be over so soon. She was savoring his touches. She’d noticed in the last week that he’d seemed more conscious of his proximity to her as well as the touches that she cherished so. She didn’t like it. She wanted him to be close…and she wanted those precious touches. No matter how small, to her they were so much bigger. They were all special.

“All this week at QC, I’ve been worrying about that kiss—”

“You didn’t need to—“

“You didn’t say anything,” he said gently. “And you’re the first relationship in my whole life where I felt like the world was literally going to end if I didn’t make sure that things remained status quo between us in some way…even if it was that we were just going to be friends. I was okay with that.”

“I don’t want to be friends,” she whispered. Felicity stared at him for a long moment before she finally worked up the courage to scoot forward in the chair. She leaned towards him and he seemed to understand where she was going. Their lips met and her hand ran through his hair as tears fell from her eyes. The spark between them was undeniable. Felicity had just wanted to make sure it was still there even when they weren’t intoxicated. She wanted to make sure that she hadn’t just made it up. 

“Then what does this make us?” he asked as his lips brushed against hers before he initiated another kiss. She didn’t respond to him right away. She savored their kisses. This was just anchoring the fact that she’d known all along, no matter what happened…she couldn’t ever stop being his girl. No matter what happened. No matter who tried to kill them. They were more than partners. He’d always be there and she’d be there right beside him. 

“Do we really need a label?” she questioned as she pulled back to look at him. “All I know is that if we’re going to do this… If we’re going to move our relationship past friendship, then it can’t be a secret…”

“That’s going to mean family dinners…”

Felicity groaned and he laughed. “Can I request that Walter is always present then? And Thea?” she asked.

“I don’t know if I can promise that,” he told her. “But I can promise you that I’ll talk to my mother.”

“No… She can’t be forced into liking me…”

“It’s not hard to like you, Felicity,” he whispered and then he was kissing her again. 

Once they had taken a moment to breathe again and she was staring at him, she started to think about what the morning was going to bring. She was supposed to go to work…at Queen Consolidated. “What about my job? Isn’t that a conflict—“

“As long as we’re professional…does it really matter?” he questioned. “You and I are friends…and we’ve fought…and things always end up working out at Queen Consolidated and here in the Foundry… Why would this be different?”

“Isabel—“

“Let me worry about Isabel,” Oliver told her. 

“I don’t even know what it says in the employee manual…”

“The name on the building IS Queen,” Oliver reminded. “We’ll figure it out and we’ll make it work. I promise you.”

Felicity just stared at him. “So…does this mean that you’re going to take me home?” she asked.

“Are you sure I can’t convince you into coming home with me?”

“That’s definitely not going to happen,” Felicity responded. She got to her feet. “You’d be more likely to find a cup of coffee on your desk tomorrow rather than that happening…”

He beamed at her and got to his feet as well. “Just…don’t worry about it. It’s all going to work out. I promise.”

“You promise?”

“I do.”

Felicity sucked it a deep breath and then slowly let it out. She really hadn’t been prepared for them to cement so much before even making it to the car. They were getting to the space where she felt like they were both ready though. At least she hoped so. She looked at him and he was holding out an arm for her, she took it. “You know I’m going to expect coffee in the morning when you pick me up,” she teased. But really, she was fairly serious about it. 

“As long as you don’t mind it being from a coffee shop.”

“I think I’d actually prefer that.”

He just laughed in response and she beamed at him. She didn’t want this night to end…ever.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“I don’t want to ruin things,” he whispered. 

“Maybe starting off assuming you’re going to ruin things is a bad start,” Felicity told him as she patted his bare chest. 

“Felicity, I—“

She silenced him by pulled him back to her lips. They’d ended up back at her apartment and in her bed. Somehow his shirt, tie, and jacket had come off. Felicity honestly didn’t remember how it had happened, but it really didn’t matter. She’d practically seen all of Oliver, so it wasn’t such a big thing. She’d seen all of the scars that could be seen when Oliver was wearing merely boxers. None of it was shocking or new to her. 

The kisses were.

He laughed suddenly and why their lips were still together. Felicity pulled back. “What?” she asked and suddenly worried if she’d done something wrong. She stared at him, but he didn’t seem to be able to be serious in that moment. 

“I just…we’re both exhausted, Felicity…”

Perhaps she was just worried that she’d wake up in the morning and this would all be a dream? She didn’t want that to happen. But at the same time, he was right. At the same time, she really didn’t want to rush things. That was probably why their relationship was so strong. “Oliver, I—“

“Relax,” he whispered. 

Oh, she could do that, especially listening to his voice. 

His lips were on her neck as he started to unbutton her blouse. Her hands stopped him, even though she really didn’t want to. She didn’t want to be like his other relationships, though. She wanted theirs to be stronger, to last, to go the distance. “Do you trust me?” he asked as he stared at her.

“You know I do,” she replied.

“Then trust me,” he said before kissing both of her hands before she finally moved them. He went back to her neck, opening her blouse and kissing along her shoulder. He carefully removed her blouse and discarded it before he moved on to removing her skirt. 

Felicity felt like she couldn’t quite breathe with his hands on her and his lips…and all of the removing of her clothing. She was trembling. Felicity knew that he’d seen her in pretty much nothing on the island, they’d submerged her in the North China Sea along Lian Yu in order to bring down her temperature and then she’d slept in that cave for who knew how long in just her undergarments. It wasn’t like she was a complete mystery to him either, but she just…she didn’t feel like she was perfect enough.

“Stop thinking.”

She blinked and stared at him. 

The skirt was tossed. Her heels had been left on one side of the bed and he was standing there removing his shoes, socks, and pants. He crawled under the covers next to her and pulled her close, holding her in his arms. “To kiss a forehead to erase worry,” he whispered and pressed a long kiss to her forehead.

Felicity closed her eyes and just allowed herself to live in that moment. She might need him to do that more often. 

“To kiss the eyes is to lift sleeplessness,” he whispered as he kissed both of her eyelids. 

“You might need to do that in the morning,” she whispered back.

He laughed lightly before speaking again. “To kiss the lips is to drink the water,” he continued before taking his time with her lips. Felicity returned the kiss and tried to draw it out.

“To kiss a forehead is to erase memory,” he said and before he could kiss her forehead, Felicity stopped him.

“Don’t erase it,” she whispered as her eyes shot open. He removed her glasses and he kissed her lips again instead. “I don’t want to ever forget this,” she whispered against his lips in between kisses. 

“Neither do I.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	14. Adjustments

“How was your appointment? What did the doctor say?” he asked.

“That I’m doing better than he expected, but I’m to still take it easy and let it finish healing,” Felicity reported with a smile. She set the cup of coffee on his desk. “So, I heard that I missed a rather…colorful…discussion with Isabel?”

“You know…she found out…and isn’t exactly happy…and is taking it to HR.”

“Really?”

“Don’t worry about it. We’re fine. I promise. I even talked to Walter about it.”

“You talked to Walter?” she questioned. She’d made him promise not to keep their relationship a secret, but last she’d talked to him…their relationship status just hadn’t come up with his family. So, he hadn’t offered it. He had told her that they’d find out soon enough and that it was better to let his mother cool off before breaking the news to her. “About us?”

Oliver tilted his head. “Why do you seem so nervous? You know that Walter likes you…”

“I just… It’s suddenly so real,” Felicity blurted out. It wasn’t that it hadn’t been since they’d decided to go forward more than a week before, it was just…unexpected. 

“It was bound to happen.”

“I know,” she responded quietly.

Oliver leaned back in his chair. “You know, we could just come out and actually tell my family… We could go to dinner…”

“Maybe we could tell Thea and Roy first,” she suggested.

“I’m pretty sure that they already know.”

“Right.”

“But it wouldn’t be a bad idea. Just the four of us,” Oliver told her. “I’ll make reservations for us.”

“You’re going to do it?” she asked. She was certain that he could see exactly how surprised he was.

Oliver shrugged and motioned to his computer. “I just do it online, right?”

“Yes…but—“

“I MIGHT be capable of doing it…”

Felicity smiled at him. “Well, you know…if you have any problems…I’m pretty good with computers…”

“I think I remembered reading that on your resume,” he teased.

He was different. 

There weren’t huge changes in him, but there were changes. She’d seem them here and there. He kept surprising her and she couldn’t stop thinking about how different they’d been only months before. Felicity couldn’t shake the feeling that if they hadn’t ended up on Lian Yu and gone through that hell that they wouldn’t be there…not in the way they were now. 

Sometimes things happened for a reason, didn’t they?

Felicity had to believe that this was the reason.

She was okay with it.

“I’m going to be right out there,” she said as she motioned back to where her desk was. “In case you need me…”

“I’m going to text Thea…see if we can do it tonight. Is that going to be okay?”

“We just have to tell Digg…in case we’re late getting back to the Foundry,” she reminded. “Plus, didn’t you promise him you two would have a night where you both went out?”

“Yes. I did.”

Diggle was feeling the need to get out of the Foundry and Oliver had thought that it was just his need to get out there and be a little more involved. They were working it out, but Felicity just hoped that it wasn’t because of what had gone on on the island. The parts that no one would tell her about. 

“Just…check in with him.”

“You know, you don’t have to worry about him.”

“Neither of you will talk to me about everything that happened on that island.”

Oliver stared at her. She knew that this wasn’t the time for this conversation, but it was the truth. “I’ve told you—“

“You don’t always have to protect me.”

“I know,” Oliver replied. She knew though that he really didn’t mean that. Oliver would always protect her. He’d always be there no matter what. He’d sacrifice his life for hers just like she would do it for him. “Let me protect you now, though.”

“If it gets too heavy…”

“I promise.”

Oliver promising had become a thing between them. He never used to promise her anything like what he’d promise her now. She left him and went back to her desk, but she’d look over and check on him occasionally. She just wanted to make sure that he seemed okay. Felicity knew that he liked to carry the weight of the world, but she and Diggle did try to lighten the load where they could. That’s how she took the island stuff…he was letting Diggle share that load with him and vice versa as far as Diggle went. She just hoped that they could handle it.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“Ms. Smoak.”

Felicity looked up from her desk. It had been two days since they’d officially announced their relationship to Roy and Thea and things had seemed to be going along just fine. Team Arrow things were running smoothly and she and Oliver had managed to work just fine in both worlds as far as their relationship status went. But Moira Queen walking up to her desk that morning hadn’t been something that she’d expected.

“Uh…oh, Mrs. Queen,” she said quickly. “Oli—Mr. Queen isn’t in his office. He had a—“

“A meeting with Isabel, yes, he told me,” Moira said. “Though I think it’s suspicious that they did so outside of the building.”

“There’s normally yelling involved,” Felicity explained. “I think it was something that HR suggested. Mr. Diggle is with them…supervising…” Really, Diggle was making sure that things didn’t get to the point of them needing the police called for any reason. Also, she didn’t mind getting both points of view on what happened. 

“Actually, I wanted to see you.”

Felicity’s jaw dropped. “Uh…I—“

“I know that you and my son are seeing each other,” Moira said matter of factly. “And I want you to end it.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You should be sorry,” Moira continued. “I’m sure there’s some boy out there for you…but that’s not Oliver.”

“With all due respect, Mrs. Queen, that’s not your decision,” Felicity told her. “Oliver and I wanted to discuss this at dinner with you tonight.”

“I told Oliver that I wouldn’t have it.”

“Well, I’m not ending things with Oliver just because you won’t give me a chance…”

“I’ve looked you up—“

“That means nothing,” Felicity told her as she got up from her desk. “You have no idea who I am as a person. You haven’t even tried to get to know me. Walter probably knows me better than you ever will and our contact has been purely while he was working here… “ Felicity took a breath. “I love Oliver. We’re good together. We make each other better. That’s all you should really care about.”

“My son could be happy with any—“

“With who? Sara? Laurel? Those relationships didn’t exactly work out,” Felicity countered. “Did they?”

“I think I know my son better than you do.”

Felicity was quiet, but completely honest. “You really don’t.”

“What are you saying?”

“That I know Oliver better than you do,” Felicity spoke softly. It was the truth. She wasn’t telling her WHY she knew Oliver better, but it came down to the fact that she knew Oliver better than his own mother did. That was it. That was probably the reason why she was so perfect for him. Why their relationship was working. “And I hope you don’t push this tension…because I would hate for you to know him any less… You’ve almost lost him twice,” she said. That was a lie, but Moira didn’t need to know that. “Do you really need him to lose him because you didn’t take the time to know me?”

Moira just stared at her. “Fine,” she said stubbornly. “Tonight then.”

“I’ll see you then.”

“If you could kindly let Oliver know?”

“I’ll make sure he knows.”

“Six o’clock.”

Felicity just nodded and then watched Moira leave. She just hoped that this dinner would be more successful than the last one she attended. Felicity just hated the idea of Oliver being split from his family because of her. She didn’t want to be the cause of discord between them. Their relationship was supposed to be beautiful and special…not to cause a rift between Oliver and his mother.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Tonight was supposed to focus on training. That was, as long as the criminals cooperated. But instead of training in the Foundry, Oliver had insisted that they get out and do something a little more than the confines of the Foundry would allow. Which meant that Felicity would be left alone, she was okay with that, she’d be in her element and she’d be able to do updates and everything else she’d not yet done that really needed to be done. 

As they all started to head for the stairs, she spoke up. “Oliver?”

“Yeah?” He stopped and turned to her. 

“Before you guys go out…and be all…hero-y,” Felicity said. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Yeah, of course,” Oliver said. He turned back to the others who seemed to be waiting. “Go on ahead. I’ll be up in a few minutes.” He waited until they were gone before heading over to where she was sitting. “What can I do for you?” he asked as his hand rested on the back of her chair.

She looked up at him. “I know you might not be too thrilled, but…I had to look her up.” Felicity looked up at him and waited to see if he realized whom she was talking about. They hadn’t talked about her for some time. Things had been better between them, so she felt like she could broach this now…even his mother had been less hostile towards her since their last dinner. She stared at him and he seemed like a different man standing there beside her. Felicity knew that he’d changed so much in the time that she’d known him, but she’d wondered if he’d changed since the last trip to the island…more so than just in the way of their relationship status.

Felicity didn’t know for sure yet.

Time would tell.

“Who?”

Felicity pressed a button and then motioned to her screen. “You’ve talked about Shado on the island… I just…I wanted to put a face to who you were talking about,” Felicity said. “I don’t know if this is right—“ She looked up right then at his face and she could tell that it was the right person. “Oliver, I—“

He looked at her and she could tell that he was trying to hold it together. “That’s Shado,” he said and then swallowed.

“You said you saw her…on Lian Yu… You saw her before too, at Christmas, right?” 

“Right,” he said and even though it was even, she could hear a small break in his voice.

Felicity didn’t take her eyes off of him. “You never told me what she said to you…”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Oliver—“

He was quiet and looked away from her. “I—“ He closed his mouth and took a breath. “I didn’t want to tell you…” Oliver looked back at her. “Whether she was just a hallucination or a ghost…all I could think was that it was my subconscious… I didn’t want it to be deep down me…thinking those thoughts.”

“You asked me before if I saw the person who I heard when I was alone in the cave,” Felicity said slowly. “You were hoping it was Shado, weren’t you?”

“I guess, I felt…like maybe, I would feel less crazy…”

“I never saw her…whoever she was…” Felicity told him. “But maybe it was her… I guess we’ll really never know…” She hadn’t ever heard Shado’s voice and she had no comparison…so they just had to wonder or forget about it. Dwelling on it wouldn’t help anything. 

“She’d say you were going to die… She’d tell me to let you be at peace. She wanted me to be okay with letting you go…“ He stopped and his voice got softer. “She told me to live…” He was even quieter as he stared at her. “She told me that someone else was my heart…”

Felicity just stared back at him. This was probably the most he’d opened up about the island. It wasn’t just a bit. Even though he was talking about Shado and it was the ghost/hallucination version…it told her even more about Oliver. 

“YOU are my heart, Felicity,” he said after a long moment. “You kept telling me to leave you or to let you die on Lian Yu, but I wasn’t going to do that… It wasn’t just that I wasn’t going to have to bury someone permanently on that island, but that I wasn’t going to fail you. You, more than anyone, I don’t want to fail.”

“You’re going to have to try really hard to fail me,” Felicity whispered as she continued to stare at him. She reached up and put her hand over his on the back of her chair. “Plus, I’m not going to let you…”

“You’re more than my assistant at QC or my eyes and ears here…or my family…or my partner…or my heart…” He was quiet. “You’re the future I wasn’t sure would exist… You’ve allowed me to love again…and you remind me to live.”

Felicity smiled. This, more than anything else, told her about Oliver. It told her what his demons were and what he was working through. It also told her where they were. “I’m not going anywhere…” she told him quietly as she squeezed his hand. 

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Felicity closed her eyes and savored that moment. They often exchanged small friendly touches, but this was something more. “I love you,” he barely whispered, his lips brushing against her forehead. 

The sound of his words were like a whisper on the wind. They were unreal and once he pulled away and she finally looked up at him, she didn’t know whether to echo the sentiment or not. Had he really said it? The look on his face and in his eyes told her everything. “I love you,” she breathed. She stared at him and searched his face for what came now. What was next? Where did they go from here?

The sound of his phone interrupted their moment and Felicity watched as he searched for it and then fumbled once he found it. He sighed as he stared down at the screen. “Patience is not a virtue the others have,” Oliver told her.

“Go,” she said with a smile. “I told you, I’m not going anywhere.”

He stared down at her for another long minute. “I won’t stay out late.”

“I always wait up.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

The End


End file.
